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    Question Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Did you manage to get that one ill conceived, bad taste, cheesy gift from that one offender? I know it seems to be a right of passage, and I figured we could share our "bad gift" stories here. To make sure we're not going in the wrong direction with this, I understand that not everyone has good finances and not everyone can give the best gifts. This thread is for those that just don't appear to put any thought into what they're buying. I know I would personally rather not get anything from certain people and thus I figured I'd share my story to see if I'm alone in my sentiment.


    The offender in my case is my sister and her family. It doesn't help that we rarely get along, if not for my parents, I doubt we'd see each other at all. Last year for Xmas, I spent roughly $300 on them total. If memory serves, I think they gave me a keyboard vacuum cleaner from the "impulse buy" section, near the cash register of Radio Shack that cost about $8.00. I don't even recall any sort of "Thank You" from any of her 4 rowdy children, or from her and her husband.

    This year I really went into the season thinking to myself that I'm not going to spend any money on them. Unfortunately, my younger brother had his first baby and I was compelled to buy for her and the guilt of not buying for my sister's children would've been too much. Thus, I bought for all. I didn't go too crazy this time though. A few Hello Kitty trinkets for the girls, and some Legos and a Hot Wheels track for the boys. I also dished out about $50 worth of Keurig coffee cups and a Bluetooth speaker. My gift, from a guy and his family that recently bought himself an iPad, bought an iPhone for his derp of a son, and has purchased a slew of electric guitars for himself, and a new SUV for my sister consisted of a small smartphone tripod, again something that you'd find hanging near the cash registers because no store would ever dedicate a section to such an item.

    Thus, given the history of bad gift giving (one year I got a small FM radio headphone thing that again looked like some sort of clearance item that hangs at a register), would it be ok for me to stop the gift buying reciprocation? I figure I could also just assign a dollar value to the price of the average gift I get from them and just divide by the amount of people in her family I have to buy for. Although if I went that route, I'd wind up buying each of them a candy bar or something equally as pathetic. Maybe next year I'll just stop with the gift giving to her and her family. I tried to convince myself that I'd do it just for the kids, but the kids are equally as ungrateful.
  2. #2  
    STARGATE's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    I don't know how it works in her family. In mine, all the kids respect their uncles and aunts.
    Just start next year as follows:
    First, stop giving gifts to your sister and her husband.
    Give only to the kids. Don't go crazy on the spending.
    Pay really good attention to their reaction.
    If none of the kids are thankful, the following year only give to the youngest kid.
    Again, carefully check their reaction to that.

    If they still keep their ways or worse, if they confront you about this new approach then I believe you'll know if you stop altogether giving gifts to an ungrateful family.

    I would!

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    Last edited by STARGATE; 12-27-2013 at 08:53 PM.
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  3. #3  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    I don't generally have many people I exchange gifts with, so my exposure to these types of situations has been limited and never happened to me. Though to go through what you have would be a tricky situation. If you're already on shaky grounds with her family, cutting them off at Christmas may be in order. You should at least let them know ahead of time. Tell them something like you're not in agreement with their beliefs or whatever if you have to. If they are as ungrateful as you made them sound, then they are going to be pissed either way. No use giving them your true feelings on the matter to only make them even more angry with you.
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  4. #4  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by TXGTOU View Post
    would it be ok for me to stop the gift buying reciprocation?
    Gifts are always optional.

    I would let your sister know that you don't want to engage in gift giving ahead of time, though, so she is prepared for it. As for your other niece, that would be awkward to get her gifts and not the others unless you could gift to her without the others knowing about it.
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  5. Thread Author  Thread Author    #5  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by STARGATE View Post
    I don't how it works in her family. In mine, all the kids respect their uncles and aunts.

    Just start next year as follows:
    First, stop giving gifts to your sister and her husband.
    Give only to the kids. Don't go crazy on the spending.
    Pay really good attention to their reaction.
    If none of the kids are thankful, the following year only give to the youngest kid.
    Again, carefully check their reaction to that.

    If they still keep their ways or worse, if they confront you about this new approach then I believe you'll know if you stop altogether giving gifts to an ungrateful family.

    I would!

    Sent From Inside The TARDIS in a Galaxy S4 Away!
    I don't think I've ever received a 'Thank You' from any of her children to be quite honest. The oldest one is about 14 and the other 3 have pretty much followed suit. I do think I need to stop buying gifts for that particular family. I've mentioned to them for the past 3-4 years that I'm not buying any gifts. Maybe next year I'll get them a fruitcake.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncatt View Post
    I don't generally have many people I exchange gifts with, so my exposure to these types of situations has been limited and never happened to me. Though to go through what you have would be a tricky situation. If you're already on shaky grounds with her family, cutting them off at Christmas may be in order. You should at least let them know ahead of time. Tell them something like you're not in agreement with their beliefs or whatever if you have to. If they are as ungrateful as you made them sound, then they are going to be pissed either way. No use giving them your true feelings on the matter to only make them even more angry with you.
    lol, well I'm not in agreement with how they raise their children, and I can't say that I think they are devout followers of any specific religion. Maybe I could tell them that I don't believe in the religion of buying from the impulse section of a store for gift giving ideas?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by DayThyme View Post
    Gifts are always optional.

    I would let your sister know that you don't want to engage in gift giving ahead of time, though, so she is prepared for it. As for your other niece, that would be awkward to get her gifts and not the others unless you could gift to her without the others knowing about it.
    That's actually what I wound up doing this year. I bought my newest niece a small jumping toy that she can sit inside of and stretch her legs out in. I gave it to my brother about 6 weeks before Christmas with the explanation that I am giving it to him now because I know how fast babies tend to grow and that I didn't think I was going to go all out for everyone else.
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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    I like giving gifts but don't particularly like receiving them. I'm not sure why that is. I do, however, like to at least hear a 'Thank you.' and those two words are all the gift I want. I recall this year giving roughly $40 worth to my cousin's daughter and not getting that 'Thank you.' I just chalked it up to she wasn't raised with that etiquette. She's only 12.

    g2
    Live long and prosper.


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  7. #7  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by TXGTOU View Post
    lol, well I'm not in agreement with how they raise their children, and I can't say that I think they are devout followers of any specific religion. Maybe I could tell them that I don't believe in the religion of buying from the impulse section of a store for gift giving ideas?!?!
    I wasn't meaning for my post to indicate religious beliefs, just beliefs in general. Though I would be so tempted to use your last point in your situation just to watch their reaction. Lol
  8. Thread Author  Thread Author    #8  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncatt View Post
    I wasn't meaning for my post to indicate religious beliefs, just beliefs in general. Though I would be so tempted to use your last point in your situation just to watch their reaction. Lol
    Although, I guess I could tell them that I don't agree with their beliefs and go all Festivus on them......haha

    Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them!  Rants/Advice/suggestions here-festivus-7113951.jpg
  9. #9  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by Haalcyon View Post
    I recall this year giving roughly $40 worth to my cousin's daughter and not getting that 'Thank you.' I just chalked it up to she wasn't raised with that etiquette. She's only 12.
    Yeah, the problem though is she will get older but she will still not be raised with that etiquette and eventually will be a 21 yo who doesn't say thank you when people give her gifts/do favors for her/give of themselves to her, etc.

    It will only get worse the older they get. I say cut them off young and let them learn a life lesson that their parents aren't teaching them - if you are an ungrateful person, people are under no obligation to help you/provide for you/give you things and you will alienate them.

    The younger they are when they learn that the better and if their parents are crap parents, they need others to teach them that.
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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by DayThyme View Post
    Yeah, the problem though is she will get older but she will still not be raised with that etiquette and eventually will be a 21 yo who doesn't say thank you when people give her gifts/do favors for her/give of themselves to her, etc.

    It will only get worse the older they get. I say cut them off young and let them learn a life lesson that their parents aren't teaching them - if you are an ungrateful person, people are under no obligation to help you/provide for you/give you things and you will alienate them.

    The younger they are when they learn that the better and if their parents are crap parents, they need others to teach them that.
    I agree.

    g2
    Live long and prosper.


  11. #11  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    I'm inconsistent with gift giving and tend only to give when I think I found something the recipient will really like. I'm not wild about getting things I don't really want either.

    But if I put thought and money into gifting, and didn't even get thanked, they'd be off my list permanently.

    When I was a kid (teehee!) my parents taught me to say thank you and write thank you notes, even if I hated the pair of socks or whatever I got and even if my parents weren't that close to the giver. I can't imagine why people don't still teach that.

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmumbles View Post
    I'm inconsistent with gift giving and tend only to give when I think I found something the recipient will really like. I'm not wild about getting things I don't really want either.

    But if I put thought and money into gifting, and didn't even get thanked, they'd be off my list permanently.

    When I was a kid (teehee!) my parents taught me to say thank you and write thank you notes, even if I hated the pair of socks or whatever I got and even if my parents weren't that close to the giver. I can't imagine why people don't still teach that.

    Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk 2
    Amén to that! 👏👏👏👍👍

    Sent From Inside The TARDIS in a Galaxy S4 Away!
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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by STARGATE View Post
    Amén to that! 👏👏👏👍👍

    Sent From Inside The TARDIS in a Galaxy S4 Away!
    Thanks! I have to day though, being inconsistent can easily be perceived as being uncaring so you have to be careful about that. When I was younger I always gave something to the usual suspects (family and friends). Those who know me these days are understanding (I think) about my on/off/on gift giving. Plus, they tend to forgive nongiving of the past when I do give them something they love.

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmumbles View Post
    When I was a kid (teehee!) my parents taught me to say thank you and write thank you notes, even if I hated the pair of socks or whatever I got and even if my parents weren't that close to the giver. I can't imagine why people don't still teach that.
    This. Your parents taught you well. Being a parent is no easy task but this is an important attribute to teach.
    Live long and prosper.


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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Thanks. It wasn't out of the ordinary then though, as it seems to be now.

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmumbles View Post
    Thanks. It wasn't out of the ordinary then though, as it seems to be now.

    Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk 2
    We live in a different world now than we once did. Good manners were once an American priority. Now? Not so much.
    Live long and prosper.


  17. #17  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    True. I wonder if manners come and go like fashions.

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmumbles View Post
    True. I wonder if manners come and go like fashions.

    Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk 2
    You know, sometimes I wonder the same thing! 😞

    Sent From Inside The TARDIS in a Galaxy S4 Away!
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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by STARGATE View Post
    You know, sometimes I wonder the same thing! 😞

    Sent From Inside The TARDIS in a Galaxy S4 Away!
    Oh, I didn't see the emoji until I quoted! That's odd. I wonder if that's why I haven't seen mine! Oops, lapse of manners on my part there! 😸

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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Manners. Something America could definitely re-learn from the Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, South Koreans, etc. But we do make some awesome weapons though. ...that's for a different forum.
    Live long and prosper.


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  21. #21  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by Haalcyon View Post
    Manners. Something America could definitely re-learn from the Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, South Koreans, etc. But we do make some awesome weapons though. ...that's for a different forum.
    So, back to this topic, what was the least favorite gift you got as a kid that you had to be polite about? I think for me it was almost everything from relatives who weren't my parents.

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  22. #22  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Clothing, always clothing. But it was usually something basic like socks or underwear. Nothing really cringe worthy.

    And you'll all be happy to know our kids are well versed in please and thank you. Our oldest is 4 and scolded a group of kids about their early teens for cussing up a storm in public thy other day.
  23. #23  
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    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmumbles View Post
    So, back to this topic, what was the least favorite gift you got as a kid that you had to be polite about? I think for me it was almost everything from relatives who weren't my parents.

    Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk 2
    I don't seem to recall ever disliking a gift. I remember feeling lucky that someone thought enough of me to give me something. I'm sure there was something though, I'll have to dwell on it.

    [NOTE]EDIT: When I was 5 or 6 I wanted a BIG orange Tonka crane. I dreamt about its awesomeness. On Christmas morning what I was greeted with was a much smaller Tonka crane than what I had so specifically and in such clarity enhanced details specified to Santa that I wanted. ...but I knew better than to allow the disappointment to ever surface.[/NOTE]
    Live long and prosper.


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  24. #24  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncatt View Post
    Clothing, always clothing. But it was usually something basic like socks or underwear. Nothing really cringe worthy.

    And you'll all be happy to know our kids are well versed in please and thank you. Our oldest is 4 and scolded a group of kids about their early teens for cussing up a storm in public thy other day.
    Oh that's so cute. Yes, it was clothing here, too. And some unwelcome Halloween costumes (why did my sister always get to be Superman!?). Handkerchiefs too. :rolleyes:

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  25. #25  

    Default Re: Crappy, thoughtless gifts, you can haz them! Rants/Advice/suggestions here

    Quote Originally Posted by Haalcyon View Post
    I don't seem to recall ever disliking a gift. I remember feeling lucky that someone thought enough of me to give me something. I'm sure there was something though, I'll have to dwell on it.

    [NOTE]EDIT:[/NOTE]
    When I was 5 or 6 I wanted a BIG orange Tonka crane. I dreamt about its awesomeness. On Christmas morning what greeted me was a much smaller Tonka crane than what I had so specifically and in such clarity enhanced details specified to Santa that I wanted. ...but I knew better than to allow the disappointment surface.
    Well, when you were very small, though, and maybe you wanted a toy but you got socks or undies?

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