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Re: birthday field not syncing to calendar
To get this working, I had to subscribe to "Contacts' birthdays and events" on my Google calendar (it's under "Browse Interesting Calendars" under "Other Calendars" in the web Google calendar.) Once I was subscribed there, I forced a calendar sync on my Nexus, and the new Birthdays calendar showed up under "Calendars to Display".
I couldn't get birthdays to show at all without this, so I'm not sure if it's the same issue you're having - but this works for me.