I am sorry to have to be the one to point this out, but as it would appear that you are in fact quite serious, you will get an equally serious answer. With the best will in the world, every specific issue you mention is absolutely down to ignorance on your part and not some inherent design flaw in modern technology. This is not meant to be another attack on you personally, merely a statement of fact. Ignorance is not just a lack of knowledge or understanding, it is a refusal to accept the facts and I am afraid that is where you are. Your attitude to the One seems to have been predetermined by your previous experiences with modern smart phones and no matter how good the implementation, you were always going to take issue with it.
Firstly, you must acknowledge that the phones of today are designed to a very different set of standards than they were 10 years ago, just about every single thing your phone is designed to do now is based around the internet whereas 10, or even 5 years ago for that matter, mobile internet was just not viable enough to be a useable technology. The seeds were there and growing fast, but for the man in the street, networks at the time just were not set up to carry data in any realistic volume.
Images in SMS messages? When I touch them they open up and I can zoom, save, share or do pretty much anything I want with them. If I save them they go into my gallery under 'All Downloads' and I can get to them at any time I wish. Ignorance of how the gallery works. The gallery app is designed to handle images, the SMS app is designed to handle messages, expecting one to do the other is ignorance.
You don't want to sync anything because the memory is too small? What were you planning on syncing that would eat up 25gb? Not sure if that one is ignorance or just bitterness.
No productivity apps on Google Play? Go to the apps page and swipe to the page to the left to view apps in categories like communications, business, finance and oh what's this one? Productivity. Ignorance.
Blank screen/no keypad? The screen is blank because the proximity sensor turns it off when it is pressed up against the side of your head to prevent accidental activation, and as has already been covered, the keypad is just a tap away. Ignorance.
Why didn't Nokia keep the Communicator going? Because it was not designed to meet the needs of the emerging internet technologies, it had been usurped, replaced, outmoded. In fact, everything that Nokia was doing at the time went the same way because they didn't think the technology would catch on, an error of judgement that nearly finished off the company for good. It was not until they partnered with Microsoft a few years ago to develop Windows phones that they came anywhere near to getting back into the market. Ignorance on their part and I am afraid,wishful thinking for a world that no longer exists on yours.
This reminds me of a joke. My smartphone now contains more processing power than NASA used throughout the entire Apollo missions. They used it to launch a man to the moon, I use it to launch virtual birds at evil piggies.
The fact is that the HTC One can do everything that your Nokia could do, plus countless other things, and do them better, faster and more reliably, believing otherwise is again, ignorance. Android is a very powerful platform but on its own it is nothing, just like Windows or osx, it is only what you make of it, nothing more, nothing less.
Welcome to 2013, its nice.