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No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore
T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the land,
the user-base was stirring, for updates abound;
The Androids were checked by their users for change,
in hopes that Kit Kat updates would soon be arranged.
The phones were nestled all snug in their cases,
while visions of candy-bars were on their owner's faces;
And I with my Maxx and my wife with the same,
me resigned to waiting, her not in the game.
When out on the forums there arose such a clatter,
I kept logging on to see what was the matter;
I leapt to the laptop and pulled open the lid,
muttering about updates, just like my own kid.
The LED screen gave off a soft glow,
lending a luster of photons to the keyboard below;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
on the NORAD website, but eight tiny reindeer.
With root work and drivers, so fit and so fast,
I knew in a moment it must be Kit Kat;
More slow than molasses the updates seemed they came,
and the users groaned out as they called them by name:
Not Cupcake! Not Donut! Not Froyo! Not Eclair!
Not Gingerbread! Not ICS! Not Jelly Bean! We despair!
To the top of the list! To the top of the stack!
Please update us quick! Or else we must hack!
As impatient youth before the new toy is released,
when met with delay, feel they've been fleeced;
So to the social networks and forums they flew,
With a bag of complaints, awaiting a breakthrough.
And then in a twinkling, I heard not a peep,
my update wasn't ready yet, my alert did not beep.
And as I tapped on my screen, quite knowing the line:
"Your device is up to date! No update this time!"
He was dressed all in brown, from head to his foot,
his release notes meant some things were kaput;
A bundle of features he had in his trapper,
unlike a candy bar just out of its wrapper.
Chocolate eyes don't quite twinkle, but his ridges, how merry!
His rounded off head, tastes nothing like cherry!
He had a broad face and a serrated belly,
But unlike St. Nick's did not vibrate like jelly.
He came out of the Valley, but some failed to update,
perhaps they were rooted, which led to their fate.
Still others protested, I never did root!
Off to tech support their laments they did shoot.
He yet flits around, we hope we don't brick,
we still want our updates much faster than quick;
And I heard him exclaim, passing my IMEI,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!