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  1. Thread Author  Thread Author    #1  
    Unobtanium's Avatar

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    Default No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the land,
    the user-base was stirring, for updates abound;
    The Androids were checked by their users for change,
    in hopes that Kit Kat updates would soon be arranged.

    The phones were nestled all snug in their cases,
    while visions of candy-bars were on their owner's faces;
    And I with my Maxx and my wife with the same,
    me resigned to waiting, her not in the game.

    When out on the forums there arose such a clatter,
    I kept logging on to see what was the matter;
    I leapt to the laptop and pulled open the lid,
    muttering about updates, just like my own kid.

    The LED screen gave off a soft glow,
    lending a luster of photons to the keyboard below;
    When what to my wondering eyes should appear
    on the NORAD website, but eight tiny reindeer.

    With root work and drivers, so fit and so fast,
    I knew in a moment it must be Kit Kat;
    More slow than molasses the updates seemed they came,
    and the users groaned out as they called them by name:

    Not Cupcake! Not Donut! Not Froyo! Not Eclair!
    Not Gingerbread! Not ICS! Not Jelly Bean! We despair!
    To the top of the list! To the top of the stack!
    Please update us quick! Or else we must hack!

    As impatient youth before the new toy is released,
    when met with delay, feel they've been fleeced;
    So to the social networks and forums they flew,
    With a bag of complaints, awaiting a breakthrough.

    And then in a twinkling, I heard not a peep,
    my update wasn't ready yet, my alert did not beep.
    And as I tapped on my screen, quite knowing the line:
    "Your device is up to date! No update this time!"

    He was dressed all in brown, from head to his foot,
    his release notes meant some things were kaput;
    A bundle of features he had in his trapper,
    unlike a candy bar just out of its wrapper.

    Chocolate eyes don't quite twinkle, but his ridges, how merry!
    His rounded off head, tastes nothing like cherry!
    He had a broad face and a serrated belly,
    But unlike St. Nick's did not vibrate like jelly.

    He came out of the Valley, but some failed to update,
    perhaps they were rooted, which led to their fate.
    Still others protested, I never did root!
    Off to tech support their laments they did shoot.

    He yet flits around, we hope we don't brick,
    we still want our updates much faster than quick;
    And I heard him exclaim, passing my IMEI,
    Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
    Last edited by Unobtanium; 12-25-2013 at 04:59 AM. Reason: Corrected spelling of "heard" in final stanza
    ************************************************
    Current Personal Devices: Droid MAXX XT1080M; Sero 7 Pro
    Previous Personal Devices:
    Compaq HPC / Palm IIIc / Moto Bag Phone / Moto Flip Phone / StarTAC 7860 / StarTAC 7868 / v60s / GZ1 Type V / GZ1 Boulder / Thunderbolt
    ******************************************************
    Current Work Device: iPhone4
    Previous Work Devices:
    Moto "Lingo" L3000 iDEN / R750 / i355 / i580 + BB 8703 / BB 8830 / BB8330 / i576 + BB 9650 Storm
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    BrianTX, HES, dancing-bass and 5 others like this.
  2. #2  
    yenyob's Avatar

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    Default Re: No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    Very nice!

    Posted via Android Central App
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    UJ95x's Avatar

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    Default Re: No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    Nice
    Merry Christmas!

    Posted via Android Central App
    "We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology." - Carl Sagan
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  4. #4  

    Default Re: No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    Wow, how long did that take you? It was really good, think about writing children's book.... Would be new York times next seller list

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  5. Thread Author  Thread Author    #5  
    Unobtanium's Avatar

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    Default Re: No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    Quote Originally Posted by kkhanmd View Post
    Wow, how long did that take you? It was really good, think about writing children's book.... Would be new York times next seller list

    Posted via Android Central App
    It took a total of about an hour, spread out over the late afternoon and evening. The inspiration hit me, oddly enough, in church when I was working on the rehearsal for the Christmas Eve service. I made a few notes and set it aside until I got home. The copyright is expired on Clement Moore's original poem, so it's available on the Project Gutenberg website. They also have a mobile site.

    I tried to mirror most of the stanzas, until I got close to the end (Moore's is 14, my version is 12). I just kind of gave out of rhymes (I did use the web for a few ideas).
    kkhanmd likes this.
  6. #6  
    Hgouck's Avatar

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    Default Re: No Visit from Kit Kat - with Apologies to Clement C. Moore

    Unobtanium , thank you for taking the time to write this. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Merry Christmas and May God bless your efforts in the upcoming year.
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