Hi,
I just got a new pair of apple's in ear headphones w/ remote & mic in the mail today, and I was bummed out when I found out that there were problems when connecting it to my Droid (music suddenly starting, mic not working on phone OR headphones, volume up/down buttons playing/pausing music in party mix), so I started looking around in different android forums with google. No luck.
But I DID find out THIS: Apparently if you HOLD the center button WHILE connecting the headphone jack to the droid, the phone's mic WILL work. I accidentally found this out while messing around with the headphones. The volume up/down buttons will still play/pause music, and the center button will do nothing.
While I was in a call, pressing the center button did nothing, but pressing the volume down button resulted in a quick mute of voice, followed instantly by ending the call. Pressing the volume up button did the same thing for me, but with a 2 second lag. Also, if you switch to speaker mode during a call, it outputs through the phone's speakers only, not the headphones.
Hope this helps