Thunderbolt Theater

**Geeksy** · 03-16-2011, 05:19 PM

Hey everybody!

After this huge wait and frustration, we're finally going to get our phone. Good job for lasting this long. It'll be totally worth it. I've had a blast, and will look forward to getting everything out of this phone with you guys.

As thanks for the fun, I've written a little piece about the Thunderbolt. It pokes fun at every side of the matter, but it's all in jest. I hope you enjoy it!

The Story of Thunderbolt

Many months ago…
HTC: Hey, Verizon! I know you've got an awesome new LTE network going up soon, and I have an idea for your first LTE phone! It's this great looking 4.3" phone. It's like a mix of the Incredible and the Evo.
VZW: I like it. We'll call it Thunderbolt.
HTC: Buh.. But we already have a name. It's the Mecha. That's a lot cooler than-
VZW: Nope. Thunderbolt.
HTC: Wha.. Wouldn't you just call it Lightening or something? I mean, Thunderbolt, isn't that a move from pokemon?
VZW: No. Maybe. Shut up.
HTC: Whatever, we'll just go over here.

A little while later
HTC: Hey Verizon! We're doing really well with the.. sigh… Thunderbolt.. Just wanted to let you know.
VZW: LEAK PIX.
HTC: Why.. Why would we do that that doesn't even-
VZW: LOTS OF PIX.
HTC: You're sending them to every big tech site, the phone isn't even close to done.
LTE Engineers: Let alone the network.
VZW: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
HTC: Could be worse, right?

Yup.
CES: Alright, Verizon, what have you got for us?
VZW: OMGEE LTE THUNDERBOLT HTC 4.3" SUPRE AWESOME NETFLIX NFL MAGIC CUPHOLDERS YEEEEAAAHHH
AT&T: What?
LTE Es: What?
Atrix: *shrug*
Android Central: Hey, guys! Thunderbolt!
AC Forums: Yaaaaay!

VZW: Hey, HTC, the phone's ready, right?
HTC: Well, no, we're running into some-
VZW: Because the Atrix came out.
HTC: Well, yeah, but that's not the best phone, I mean it's Motorla. And that laptop mount thing sucks and-
VZW: So I tweeted that you'll get the phone out.
HTC: Why?! Your network is isn't working yet!
LTE Es: We tried that. Doesn't work
VZW: Also, there's this guy.
Steve Jobs: Hay guize.
HTC, AC, AT&T, Earth: What.
VZW: Yeah, we're gonna focus all of our energy on that now.
VZW Sales: But.. but.. we had such a nice advertising schedule and everything.
LTE Es: And we're still working on the LTE network, we can't just drop everything now and go back to 3G
Jobs: Cool story bro.
VZW: Too bad.

Best Buy: Haaaay everybody! Valentine's Day! Thunderbolt! GIT IT.
HTC, LTE: What.
Everyone else: Hooray!

Valentine's Day
BB: Whoops, our bad. Come back in 10 days.
AC Forums: Yaaaay…

24th
BB: Nope.
Phil: Awkward…
ACF: But.. but…
OG Incredible: Hey guys! I have a Thunderbolt
Everyone: Cool story, bro
OG Incredible: *pics*
Everyone: …
BMX: Where's the #pandalove?

28th
Bennnnn: Hey, so… March Tenth.
ACF: Yaaay!
Seminoles Fan: RAAAAAAAAARRRR
BMX: I can't find the #PandaLove
ACF: Thanks Ben5/Be5n/Ben^5!

March
Bennnnn: Maybe not.
ACF: Boooooo. You're not real, TROLL!
Seminoles Fan: I TOLD YOU.
BMX: I said 17th first. No respect.. #PandaSad
Someone: Probably the 17th.
Bennnnn: Probably.
BMX: #PandaMorose
The Deceiver: April.
ACF: Hooray?

March 14
Bennnnn: Friggin iPad2.
The Deceiver: April.
ACF: ANSWER ALL OF OUR QUESTIONS AT ONCE.
BMX: #PandaHavingASandwich
Bennnnn: Also, it's really probably the 17th.
ACF: 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17…
VZW: LOL Got away with it.
ACF: Nope.
VZW: #PandaSad

March 15th
VZW: It'll be the 17th. We never said an official date, so you can't blame us, LOLOLOLOLOL
ACF: LJRHFRIWU4F;QWORU PHONE NOW PLZ
Corey: 30 billion threads about the announcement. Swell.
The Deceiver: So…
BMX: #PandaPanda

March 16th
VZW: Free WHS and $30/month Unlimited LTE.
HTC: Damn straight.
LTE Es: Oh God.. The horror… No, no…
BMX: #YouMightBeAPandaIf…
ACF: Every thread is now about how I got a pre-order but didn't.
BMX: #PandaIfLooksLikePandalf,MasterPandaWizard

March 17th
ACF: *Silence, but for the muffled taps on a phone screen*
LTE: SHE CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS CAP'N. SO MUCH BANDWIDTH.
VZW: LOL LG Revolution and Bionic now.
BB: And nobody suspects a thing…
BMX: Poemz #PandaLaureate
HTC: That was dumb.
Skype: Seriously.
Netflix: F'real.

**Carbon Stig** · 03-16-2011, 05:23 PM

Nice, LOL

**azdmelani** · 03-16-2011, 05:25 PM

Had to give you a thanks for that... seems like we waited for seconds rather than months when you put it like that...

**jonsconspiracy** · 03-16-2011, 05:27 PM

I read the whole thing and understood every reference... that's so sad! I need this phone in my hands so I can get back to the real world.

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**upz3** · 03-16-2011, 05:29 PM

Very sad to have understood that. I've been posting here since right before the Super Bowl when pre-orders started and doesn't look like it will stop (at least first one year

)