For one, you could have used the upgrade with a future activation date. Another option that you could have done would have been to get your wifes MEID number to her X and then when the new phone was activated had them then reactivate her old one. It would have taken only a few minutes to do the switch and she most likely wouldn't have noticed. If she had noticed then she would have just thought that it was a glitch with her phone and nothing more since it would have been so short. Or yet a third option would have been to order it online and had it shipped to your work. Then you could have just activated it within 30 days. It wouldn't have messed with her phone at all then.
There is a lot that you could have done on your side to help the situation go smoothly. So again I think that all they owe you is an apology. I guess this is the season for people and entitlement, instead of forgiveness and knowing that people are only human.