I have my private mode set to pattern and i cannot remember the pattern to change it so is there another way to be able to access private mode without erasing my phone
Depends on the phone you have and if you're using a 3rd party app for Private Mode. Stock Android accounts do not allow remote unlock/password reset of private partitions, but Samsung phones do (as long as you activated the Samsung Account in the Secure Folder section) through their FindMyMobile site.