Any help on this from other long time icrack users making the switch to a N4? Deep breaths maybe
Yes, deep breaths help. In the scheme of life, these things are not important enough to become frustrated over. And, before you heave your phone (or any other expensive device) next time, asking yourself how even more frustrated you will be if you now have to spend $500 on a new device because I lacked self control might be enough to instill that necessary restraint.
I opine that the the divide between between the two camps (iOS and non-iOS) is partly based on the level of a personal characteristic I call "intellectual curiosity". Clearly, if you find a device so frustrating as to feel compelled to throw it across the room, perhaps you have the wrong device. I have run across individuals who should not even own cell phones or computers for this same reason.
But, you have avoided the bigger problem too many stumble over. Too many people, after having gotten frustrated, would have quit, or ignored their inability to answer the phone (until it rang the next time), or just stare at a device expecting or hoping that someone will walk into the room, hold their hand and provide them with a step-by-step instructions (written at a third-grade level) on how to do everything.
But you have taken the wiser path. You have not waited for the next phone call to suddently realize (again) that answering a nexus4 phone is not the intuitive action that you had hoped it would be. You realize that there are resources available, such as the internet, forums, user manuals. You sought those resources out. You might even experiment a bit by having a friend call you, so that you can practice, explore, and be sure you know how to perform the necessary and basic functions. You figure it out.
Pretty soon, you will find yourself wondering "how do I do that"? Then, your curiousity will drive you to find the answer. Then you will finding yourself doing things on your phone that would not even have occured to you earlier. After a few years of applying that curiousity to other parts of your life, you will be able to sit back in quiet confidence, knowing that you are smarter than most people around you.
BTW, regarding anwering a phone call on the nexus4, I find it interesting that other manufacturers modify many of the top level interfaces for such actions. Do you suppose that they also find the basic android interface for this action to be less intuitive than they hope?