I've historically used many phones and I've been enjoying my pixel 4XL from launch and I'm over the whole new phone phase....I love pixels because they just work well. I've had no issues from the 4XL, and I can say I do a lot on my phones, probably more than most and it's been great. Tired of falling for the "oh this new phone processor is 10% faster, etc". It's like a new car that adds more horse power yet the new model is heavier thus it's actually slower in real world use. All smoke and mirrors, plan on keeping the 4XL for a while & will see how things are when/if Google actually steps up to make their own processor separate from Qualcomm!
I like your "smoke and mirrors" analogy. There will always be something "better" out there, but then how do you measure "better"? And is it even worth it if that "better" is just one small part of the entire package? Is it worth the heightened price, etc?
As consumers, only we can be the judge of that, but it still, to me anyway, makes me feel like I don't want to shell out a ton of cash for something that's not very different than what I'm currently using. That's why I often switch manufacturers when I upgrade so at the very least, I'm paying for a new and different experience.
Also, like you wrote above: Pixel works well. I found that too with my Pixel 2. No issues. It's a reliable manufacturer.