I could see him in an ad saying something like (picking up a competitor's phone), "You are finite. Zathras is finite. This is wrong phone. No. No, not good. No. No. Never use this."
Or, again picking up a competing phone, "No. Not the One."
"Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life, running 4.2. Probably have very sad death, still on 4.2. But, at least there is symmetry."