Tim: One thing that might be subtle the "expanded" behaviour can be determined by the priority of the notification. So if the notification coming in has the highest priority then it will show the expanded view. This means that the notification on top shows the expanded view upon delivery. Also, I believe a lot of devices continue to show the expanded view if you previously expanded a notification without closing it.
Notification priority
If you wish, you can set the priority of a notification. The priority acts as a hint to the device UI about how the notification should be displayed. To set a notification's priority, call NotificationCompat.Builder.setPriority() and pass in one of the NotificationCompat priority constants. There are five priority levels, ranging from PRIORITY_MIN (-2) to PRIORITY_MAX (2); if not set, the priority defaults to PRIORITY_DEFAULT (0).
I'm looking at the S4 right now but I can't see anyway to influence this behaviour using a stock setup.
Going back the OPs problem I'd like to offer an alternative, I do an app for email and SMS notifications that enables you to configure this behaviour however you wish:
For example, you could do the following:
1. Always show a single notification with the sender and subject
2. Display N=3 single notifications with sender and subject
Sample 1
3. Optionally use the expanded view to display the email body
Sample 2
4. Capable of using the expanding area to show summaries also like the behaviour you're trying to turn off
...
Too many combinations to list, but you can setup the status bar to behave however you wish for email and SMS.
With regards, to avoiding the expanded view on arrival. The app lets you set the priority of the system status bar notification as well.
The app is called eNotify on GooglePlay if anyone wants to try it out. There is a free lite version with no real restrictions as well.
Cheers,
Glen