11-27-2019 05:03 PM
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  1. Aquila's Avatar
    Thanks for this thread. I understand, since I'm dealing with depression myself. I am getting treatment and doing much better, but it was something that took a long time before I realised how bad of shape I had been in.
    Takes some courage to admit it and I'm glad you are getting help. If you ever need someone to talk to, I can make myself available any time and I'm good at shutting up and listening and I'm good at never saying another word about it to anyone.
    Laura Knotek, LineKill and davidnc like this.
    05-30-2017 03:29 PM
  2. LineKill's Avatar
    It's an absolutely great thing you're doing @Aquila. I am way too familiar with suicide. Be safeツ
    Aquila, Laura Knotek and davidnc like this.
    05-30-2017 03:44 PM
  3. kct1975's Avatar
    Thanks for this thread. I understand, since I'm dealing with depression myself. I am getting treatment and doing much better, but it was something that took a long time before I realised how bad of shape I had been in. I never thought directly about suicide, but I was at the point where I didn't care of I went to sleep and never woke up in the morning and had not been taking good care of myself. I feel better now than I have been in at least 3 years, and I'm looking forward to new experiences in life.
    I am sorry to hear that!

    Please excuse the my bluntness...but...What you just said Really Hits Me!

    Honestly, there have been several times I have felt that way.

    There have been several times in my life where I have felt the way that you mentioned. Especially after my mother passed.

    I am very grateful to God that, I found happiness with a wonderful woman, that loves me, understands me and accepts me, and my wonderful father who loves me.

    I sincerely hope and pray that things continue to go well for me, and I also hope that things continue to go well for you also.
    Laura Knotek, Aquila and davidnc like this.
    05-30-2017 07:15 PM
  4. Aquila's Avatar
    I am sorry to hear that!

    Please excuse the my bluntness...but...What you just said Really Hits Me!

    Honestly, there have been several times I have felt that way.

    There have been several times in my life where I have felt the way that you mentioned. Especially after my mother passed.

    I am very grateful to God that, I found happiness with a wonderful woman, that loves me, understands me and accepts me, and my wonderful father who loves me.

    I sincerely hope and pray that things continue to go well for me, and I also hope that things continue to go well for you also.
    I'm on your side mate, glad you have support but if you need anything I'm available.
    Laura Knotek, davidnc and kct1975 like this.
    05-30-2017 11:52 PM
  5. davidnc's Avatar
    Thanks for this thread. I understand, since I'm dealing with depression myself. I am getting treatment and doing much better, but it was something that took a long time before I realised how bad of shape I had been in. I never thought directly about suicide, but I was at the point where I didn't care of I went to sleep and never woke up in the morning and had not been taking good care of myself. I feel better now than I have been in at least 3 years, and I'm looking forward to new experiences in life.
    Glad you are doing better

    I too had gone tho some sad times ,the worst of course was when my dad died of cancer in 2008 and my mom dying of complications with dementia ,she died in 2014 .


    Dad had cancer for 3 months wasn't terminal at first but later died within 10 days after it was determined would be terminal.

    I didn't reach suicide thoughts but was and at times still sad. But always remembered of dad saying remember the happy times .Both are in a better place now

    I did have a cousin who committed suicide .He hung himself .I'm not sure what got him depressed.It was kinda of a shock to family though
    Aquila, LineKill, kct1975 and 1 others like this.
    06-02-2017 08:07 AM
  6. LineKill's Avatar
    My Dad died July 16, 2013 of complications from a broken hip. My Mom died 5 months later Dec 13, 2013 from Dementia, they were very attached. I am an only child and still struggling with it . I will never get over it and can only hope things will someday get a little easier. This was very difficult for me to type out and I do not even know why I just told everyone.

    Have a safe ride tomorrow Aquila, I will be thinking about youツ
    davidnc, Laura Knotek and kct1975 like this.
    06-02-2017 01:29 PM
  7. VN750's Avatar
    It will be a year this month my sister decided to take her own life. It was completely unexpected by our entire family. Sadly she left behind 2 teenage boys which has been the hardest part. Thankfully they're doing ok in part I think due to a very strong family dynamic as well as good support from their friends and school environment.

    As her big brother and only sibling I struggled with the loss for months but have come to accept it. My mom however took it the hardest of anyone and whIle doing better still has bouts of anger about how my sister could leave behind her 2 boys. I know that comes from her struggles and sacrifice in raising my sister and I as a single mother so I think she views what my sister did as something very selfish, which I agree in part.

    Myself I've been through depression before and have had thoughts that the world would be better off without me. But I also realized how those kind of thoughts were betraying me and how selfish they were. It's not something that's obvious when you're in that mindset. But I think what really helped me were thoughts of my mom and how she has always been my rock in life and the person I look up to and draw strength from and how devastating that would be to her to lose a child in that way. So I knew immediately when I got the news about my sister that I had to be her rock now.

    Ultimately all I can add is life is precious and I'm thankful to wake up every morning yet to experience it (good and bad).
    Aquila and Laura Knotek like this.
    06-09-2017 05:17 PM
  8. Aquila's Avatar
    It will be a year this month my sister decided to take her own life. It was completely unexpected by our entire family. Sadly she left behind 2 teenage boys which has been the hardest part. Thankfully they're doing ok in part I think due to a very strong family dynamic as well as good support from their friends and school environment.

    As her big brother and only sibling I struggled with the loss for months but have come to accept it. My mom however took it the hardest of anyone and whIle doing better still has bouts of anger about how my sister could leave behind her 2 boys. I know that comes from her struggles and sacrifice in raising my sister and I as a single mother so I think she views what my sister did as something very selfish, which I agree in part.

    Myself I've been through depression before and have had thoughts that the world would be better off without me. But I also realized how those kind of thoughts were betraying me and how selfish they were. It's not something that's obvious when you're in that mindset. But I think what really helped me were thoughts of my mom and how she has always been my rock in life and the person I look up to and draw strength from and how devastating that would be to her to lose a child in that way. So I knew immediately when I got the news about my sister that I had to be her rock now.

    Ultimately all I can add is life is precious and I'm thankful to wake up every morning yet to experience it (good and bad).
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I can't say it gets easier, for me it doesn't.. it just gets different.
    Laura Knotek likes this.
    06-09-2017 06:11 PM
  9. VN750's Avatar
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I can't say it gets easier, for me it doesn't.. it just gets different.
    Thank you, that is so true! I too am sorry to hear about your loss as well. It may seem like a simple sentiment here on a forum but it truly carries a lot of weight and means a lot!
    Laura Knotek likes this.
    06-09-2017 06:47 PM
  10. ptkelly's Avatar
    I have had too much experience with suicide. In part, because I'm 78-years old and. in part, because I was a police officer for over 29 years. Here are some of my thoughts.

    First, bullying. I'm in favor on non-physical bullying. I dealt with bullying from both teachers and students in K-12. I dealt with bullying when I started working and when I did my time in the military. By the time I was 24 I was really good at dealing with bullying. For the next fifty years I had to deal with people who had never learned to deal with bullying. They wanted me or you or somebody to fix everything. My favorite was a woman at work who demanded I make Helen invite her to Helen's birthday party. Helen had invited her friends from work and this woman wasn't a friend. She said, "If you don't make her invite me I'll sue you for having a hostile work environment and allowing bullying." Now, who, exactly is the bully?

    Rational suicides. I've had a few friends and investigated a few suicides that made perfectly good sense. I would say they were less than 2% of the suicides. Two friends dealt with pancreatic cancer for almost two years and towards the end they killed themselves. I investigated a suicide of a man with two debilitating and eventually fatal illnesses that were very expensive and he killed himself. I think it made perfectly good sense.

    Accidental suicides. I investigated a number of suicides that were actually accidental. Women threaten suicide far more than men but men commit suicide far more than women. A woman made a beautiful setting for her suicide, lit dozens of candles, put on a lovely new nightgown, and called her husband at work and said she'd taken an overdose of pills. Then she took the pills and lay back on a pillow. Her husband was racing home when he had a car wreck and was rushed to the hospital unconscious. When he came around and told people what his wife had said the police were sent. Too late. I didn't think for a minute she planned on dyingtic that afternoon. I also went to some auto-erotic hangings which were accidental deaths and were counted as suicides.

    Aggressive suicides. The experts classify some suicides as acts of aggression. The victims often leave notes to people saying, "Now you'll be sorry and I'll be happy." No, they'll just be dead. One adolescent killed himself over the lunch hour when his girlfriend dumped him. He said, "Now you'll cry but it's too late." She did cry. She came to the funeral with her new boyfriend and shed her tears. I didn't have to investigate it but one ******* sat in the yard, poured two or three gallons of gasoline over his head and body, then called for his wife and kids. When they came to the door he said, "I want you to see what you made me do." Then he lit himself. When I heard about it I said, "I wish he'd called me. I would have held the lighter for him."

    Normal suicides. They often involve depression. Sometimes temporary, sometimes situational. I was at a very considerate suicide in the penthouse of a luxury condo and the young officer who got the call said, "Why do you think she killed herself?" "Check the birthdate on her license." The young officer did and said, "My god, yesterday was her birthday." Getting older is ofter really hard for women.

    A young teenager shot himself in the head. He didn't die but the bullet severed his optic nerve making him blind and gave him a crude lobotomy that alter his personality. I was talking to him one day and he said, "I get really angry when people ask me if I'm sorry I shot myself. Of course, I regret what I did. I'm blind but I'm not stupid."

    After all the suicides, I have no idea how to stop them but I have become a staunch supporter of physician assisted suicides so that those suicides that are rational can be done well and those that aren't will have someone to try and stop them.
    11-27-2019 05:03 PM
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