06-09-2017 06:47 PM
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  1. Aquila's Avatar
    Rules:

    1. No insulting members
    2. No, "suck it up buttercup" comments. Try to avoid blaming (including survivors).
    3. Nothing posted in this thread should be used against someone posting their opinions or personal stories. Ever. But, keep in mind this is the internet and it's a public forum.

    In general, if you're going to be a jerk, just don't.

    Mods: This is in politics to keep it out of the Android stuff. If there is a better place or if you want to remove it, feel free.

    Opportunity: Share stories, ask questions, whatever about loved ones who have considered, attempted or carried out self harmful actions, including suicide.

    If you are considering harming yourself and need to talk to someone, visit this link: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call 24/7.
    Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

    06-06-2013 01:04 AM
  2. Jennifer Stough's Avatar
    Suicide prevention is very important, as are anti bullying policies. Even more so when children are involved. Too often we see teens that are screaming for help be tossed to the side as angsty or attention seeking, only to end their lives. Hurting someone else for fun is never ok. Some people aren't as strong as others. You don't know their past, what they've been through, or how your words will effect them. They are looking for an easy way out of the pain, and providing them with more pain only pushes them further to finding that way out. I think its essential that schools be more perceptive to children that are bullied, children who have troubled homelives, or children who are bullying others.
    06-06-2013 01:12 AM
  3. Aquila's Avatar
    A friend of mine who I had an immense amount of respect for decided to take her own life on May 31st. We had some pretty intense and deeply fulfilling debates about science and philosophy and this came out of somewhere I can't imagine she was every at. I never thought this would be a possibility for her because of their clarity of thought and passion for learning and living free. She was really one of the most intelligent people I've had the opportunity to know. I've always heard of people saying they didn't see it coming, but I couldn't imagine how. I guess people are better at hiding their darker feelings than I am. I'm shocked, and having a very hard time understanding how they got there to this point.

    The funeral is in a little over 8 hours and I've spent the last week trying to figure out what I'm going to say. I settled on avoiding the topic of death entirely in my remarks, and will just describe the vibrancy and clarity of Amy. I've spent this week thinking a lot about reasons, and I made some progress but it's a dark place that I'm not sure I can afford to explore right now. At 10 AM I'm going to try to let that search go, but I've got the next few hours to ponder.

    How can someone so alive feel so lost for so long and yet never show it?
    How can a friend speak so candidly, so lucidly and yet never even drop a hint that this was consuming their mind?
    Were there signs? Was I not paying attention or deliberately avoiding the connections? Was the ironical smile really sad?
    Was something broken or was something wrong? Both? In addition to never dropping a hint, there is no explanation. No e-mails, no tweet, no phone, calls no note.

    Gravity pulls harder today.
    06-06-2013 01:23 AM
  4. berdinkerdickle's Avatar
    Life can be good. Life was meant to be glorious.
    Not seeing any chance of things changing for the better can crush the will to live.
    I know this may sound goopy, but we really need to treat others kindly - the way we want to be treated.
    How would we feel if we were rude or disrespectful to someone we didn't know was close to giving up on life, and we pushed them even closer?
    06-06-2013 01:25 AM
  5. berdinkerdickle's Avatar
    My post above was before I read your latest.
    I am sorry for the loss.
    I personally don't know anyone who has taken their own life.
    Aquila likes this.
    06-06-2013 01:30 AM
  6. Jennifer Stough's Avatar
    I'm so sorry about your loss NIT. Losing someone close to you will never get easier, and answers sometimes are always out of grasp. Celebrate her life. That is all you can really do. I wish I had more to offer you. This breaks my heart

    "Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. -courtesy of Albus Dumbledore, via my droid DNA.
    Aquila likes this.
    06-06-2013 01:35 AM
  7. Aquila's Avatar
    Thank you very much for the support. I'm hoping that there are other people with stories or insights to share as well; just figured I'd move first to put something out there.
    06-06-2013 02:23 AM
  8. llamabreath's Avatar
    Glad you made the thread, NIT.
    Hopefully it helps at least a little.

    I'll post my past experience that i PM'd to you last night as soon as i have some time to make sure it's done right.

    06-06-2013 08:09 AM
  9. llamabreath's Avatar
    I had a close friend of mine hang himself while we were in Junior High School. I still feel haunted about it because I played a stupid STUPID prank on his brother a few weeks afterwards by calling, disguising my voice and asking for his brother.

    I was only around thirteen years old, but that was reprehensible of me to do and I still think about it to this day.

    Suicide is especially difficult for survivors to deal with because they blame themselves. They think they had to have missed something, some sign, etc etc. Death is horrible to deal with no matter how much we've seen it, and I think you might be around the same age as me (42).

    Just don't try to force anything and don't forget that your friends and family, no matter how annoying they might get, are only trying to help you because they care.

    msndrstood likes this.
    06-06-2013 08:36 AM
  10. Golfdriver97's Avatar
    Thank you very much for the support. I'm hoping that there are other people with stories or insights to share as well; just figured I'd move first to put something out there.
    I am sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful person.

    Sent from a M.O.A.R. Galaxy S3
    06-06-2013 08:46 AM
  11. llamabreath's Avatar
    Here's a link to what appears to be a resourceful website-

    http://www.suicide.org/suicide-survi...nsitivity.html

    Aquila likes this.
    06-06-2013 09:42 AM
  12. Patrick Schroedl's Avatar
    To those who may be in a position to help someone: it can be incredible easy to miss what someone is feeling, what someone is thinking, or what someone is trying to say (whether directly or indirectly). Just remember to stay open-minded and free of judgment. Everyone should take a look at the link llamabreath posted, and the Suicide.org homepage. To quote Kevin Caruso, addressing those who have had or are having thoughts of suicide, or are just feeling down:

    One final thing. Relax. That's right. Relax. Take some deep breaths and do something that you enjoy that relaxes you. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Listen to some nice music. Just take it easy. And engage in these activities that relax you on a regular basis. And let me tell you, my friend, you are on your way. On your way to a better life.
    Aquila and badbrad17 like this.
    06-07-2013 06:22 PM
  13. llamabreath's Avatar
    To those who may be in a position to help someone: it can be incredible easy to miss what someone is feeling, what someone is thinking, or what someone is trying to say (whether directly or indirectly). Just remember to stay open-minded and free of judgment. Everyone should take a look at the link llamabreath posted, and the Suicide.org homepage. To quote Kevin Caruso, addressing those who have had or are having thoughts of suicide, or are just feeling down:
    Pat, your link is going to sucide dot org, not suicide dot org.

    06-07-2013 06:30 PM
  14. Patrick Schroedl's Avatar
    Pat, your link is going to sucide dot org, not suicide dot org.

    Thanks.
    06-07-2013 06:48 PM
  15. Aquila's Avatar
    Precipice:

    It's been two weeks and moments of levity feel both richer and more hollow, and every distraction screams of betrayal. Thus far I've failed in my quest to dig out of the search for understanding onto firmer ground. I can fake it, smiles and jokes; but distractions are fleeting and shallow, it's so easy to slip into the search. In the darkness staring at starlight and breathing the heavy humidity I can almost grasp it, almost hold on to comprehension, almost see nobility in the dark side... but it slips through hesitant fingers because I suspect, or perhaps fear, that the dark side is a trap... grasp hold and be pulled down into it, irrevocably: on this ledge one can peer through the fog and imagine the valley below... but upon stepping off, there can be no return.

    Transmitted from Space.
    Fairclough likes this.
    06-14-2013 04:33 AM
  16. Fairclough's Avatar
    I am glad someone posted this, I hadn't even seen this page - but a "It Gets Better Project" ad in my pages newsfeed I was considering putting in my signature last night however I choose not to as that is limited to one group when it should be an organisation for everyone. It's a shame many teens view it has to come to this. Every month I read about another teen, student's saying they will never forget their friend - it's good to see people show genuine compassion - however sadly I see people using a death to building their image people haven't met or associated with the person who writes this essay which is clearly been written to capitalize on it is just disgraceful.

    I remember in year twelve (last year in high school in Aus/which was last year) our whole year was offered counselling because a nearby school's student killed himself, it was remarkable the impact it has on the wide community. Teen deaths is an issue which is underdressed in society, a month later. A rival school's (this is a pretty prestigious school) student who raced against us (was in the team below) hanged himself on a goal post on his school grounds, next to a main road. I didn't really know the guy but its saddening to here how someone can die in such a way, and particularly it was believe to be over a girl - there is more to live for. Newspapers said he was a boarder and that his parents were flyin into the country for his funeral. My girlfriend said when they got off the bus from a camp her year group was told (the sister school) and almost every girl broke down. I remember my own head coach - making us pay special attention to team mates who board nearby (my school doesnt have a boarding section but they board at other schools and go to ours) so a repeat wouldn't occur. I think its safe to say a single death, affects the community far greater than one would expect. It shows that more people care about you as individual then you really know. Your footprints won't be erased nor forgotten.

    Nothingistrue, that post was pretty deep. In society we have this view that men can't show emotion - but that isn't true, you don't always have to keep a straight face, we all know how you're feeling, we've all been there. Its great that you're letting everyone in and offloading that burden. One of my most treasured quotes is from General George S Patton "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived" Why mourn over the loss of a friend - it is a natural response, cherish the moments you had with her. Its not everyday we get to meet someone who we can generally click with. In this world there are a millions we will hate, but how often do we meet someone we really click with? I know right now its hard to see the positive side but lets be thankful for people we have gotten to meet in our life. "I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." (General George S. Patton) its these lows we have in life which makes our high's so great. Irreplaceable. I must thank-you for creating this friend and allowing your emotions to show.
    msndrstood likes this.
    06-14-2013 08:56 AM
  17. Aquila's Avatar
    Comprehension came gradually, but the last piece in place. Understanding it doesn't make it hurt less.

    Letter to the ether: #*$@!! Amy, why couldn't you just tell us? I could have understood this intellectually without having to feel it.

    Unity.

    Is the dark side stronger? Perhaps; perhaps not. But you should ask, is there any more humane course than to fall for all the right reasons?
    07-07-2013 04:44 AM
  18. AngelArs's Avatar
    Sorry about your loss NIT. Law makers need to be paying more attention toward suicide prevention and bullying. This is a much different world than before the Internet came along. Does anyone remember Amanda Todd? I was going to post her video but that's up to the mods. It might be too graphic. Every time I watch her video it really breaks my heart. It also makes me angry that she had to go though all of that in her short life. It has prompted me to start developing a anti-bullying app. All of the proceeds will go to organizations like The Trevor Project, The National Center for Bullying Prevention and GLSEN.


    Be the voice for those who don't have one.

    Stand up against discrimination, bullying, hatred and prejudice.














    StopBullying.gov
    Aquila and badbrad17 like this.
    07-07-2013 07:04 PM
  19. Imnutsnj's Avatar
    Comprehension came gradually, but the last piece in place. Understanding it doesn't make it hurt less.

    Letter to the ether: #*$@!! Amy, why couldn't you just tell us? I could have understood this intellectually without having to feel it.

    Unity.

    Is the dark side stronger? Perhaps; perhaps not. But you should ask, is there any more humane course than to fall for all the right reasons?
    NIT, I sent you a PM

    Sent from my HTC DNA
    Aquila likes this.
    07-07-2013 07:38 PM
  20. anon5664829's Avatar
    Some people may know me here. I'm a 15 year old boy.
    I wanted to end my life last year for relationship issues, and nearly failing all my exams also constant. This was when I didn't know I had ADHD and dyspraxia , and the other students called me dumb,stupid, "pathetic at everything I do" and always constantly laughed at me. That was it, I had enough and I didn't see the point in living anymore why go through the living hell that was school? I was gonna get the knife and cut my veins and it would have been simple as that.

    But just before I did that I sent a text to my friend saying a simple "bye" he knew I was feeling suicidal and he texted me back saying wait just stay there I'm going to call. He called and we talked and talked and talked, we talked about everything I could think of and he saved my life just by simply talking to me.

    Now I've toughened up got 72% in physics, 75% in history, 65% in maths, and 80% in maths, I did a complete turn around from he 30-40% I used to get in my subjects and I ddint die all because of my awesome friend.
    return_0, SpiralBorg and badbrad17 like this.
    07-10-2013 06:48 PM
  21. badbrad17's Avatar
    Just posting so I can read the thread later.

    Sent from my Nexus 4
    07-10-2013 08:47 PM
  22. Imnutsnj's Avatar
    Some people may know me here. I'm a 15 year old boy.
    I wanted to end my life last year for relationship issues, and nearly failing all my exams also constant. This was when I didn't know I had ADHD and dyspraxia , and the other students called me dumb,stupid, "pathetic at everything I do" and always constantly laughed at me. That was it, I had enough and I didn't see the point in living anymore why go through the living hell that was school? I was gonna get the knife and cut my veins and it would have been simple as that.

    But just before I did that I sent a text to my friend saying a simple "bye" he knew I was feeling suicidal and he texted me back saying wait just stay there I'm going to call. He called and we talked and talked and talked, we talked about everything I could think of and he saved my life just by simply talking to me.

    Now I've toughened up got 72% in physics, 75% in history, 65% in maths, and 80% in maths, I did a complete turn around from he 30-40% I used to get in my subjects and I ddint die all because of my awesome friend.
    Well, I'm happy for you that you decided not to take your own life Chetan, as I'm sure everyone else in this thread feels the same. Trust me when I tell you, I know just how how bad or how close anyone can come to that place of no return. When I lost my first wife, I had decided there was no reason to go on. No one could communicate with me in any way shape or form.Along comes the woman I eventually married. She was so concerned I was going to commit suicide, she drove straight through from South Bend Indiana to where I was in Ocean City NJ. Until that happened, I figured people just had issues, since that day in 1999, I know better and I try to help anyone I can that appears to be having a hard time of it.

    Frank

    Sent from my HTC DNA
    Aquila and badbrad17 like this.
    07-10-2013 11:11 PM
  23. Aquila's Avatar
    Today marks the anniversary of the day that a good and well respected friend of mine took her own life. It's interesting and somewhat consoling to think that the particles that Amy was made of are out there floating around in and making up this beautiful day outside.

    So I'll pour out in remembrance of her but we're also going to celebrate her life by going out into this great weather and acknowledging that she's still here in a way and will always surround us and move through us.

    There was some crazy stuff going on that she kept to herself.

    I hope that everyone who reads this knows that there is always someone who can listen and if you can't find them, find me. I'll drop just about anything to lend an ear for you because as much as we may like to be busy and as many of our own issues that may be pressing in.... I'd much rather spend a few hours listening to you let it out than to imagine what your particles might say were I able to understand them.

    Tell your friends you love them... It may have been to long since they heard it. I miss Amy. But I also appreciate the opportunity that remembering her provides - for us to be reminded to reach out to those we cherish and find a way to let them know how important they are in our lives.

    XTNiT-1060 through spacetime.
    05-31-2014 09:01 AM
  24. Aquila's Avatar
    I'm a day early, but thinking about this a lot today. 4 year anniversary tomorrow.



    This Saturday I'm going on a ride locally for suicide awareness. We're hoping to see around 200 bikes; sounds like we may get hit with some thunderstorms. Riding anyways.
    Laura Knotek, LineKill and davidnc like this.
    05-30-2017 02:33 PM
  25. Laura Knotek's Avatar
    Thanks for this thread. I understand, since I'm dealing with depression myself. I am getting treatment and doing much better, but it was something that took a long time before I realised how bad of shape I had been in. I never thought directly about suicide, but I was at the point where I didn't care of I went to sleep and never woke up in the morning and had not been taking good care of myself. I feel better now than I have been in at least 3 years, and I'm looking forward to new experiences in life.
    LineKill likes this.
    05-30-2017 03:25 PM
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