I finally just gave up. I returned the phone to Target for a refund. They messed up my account, so Verizon was expecting me to trade in a device that I couldn't trade in, plus they didn't have the replacement phones in and Verizon did. They said they would need the gift card back, but after over an hour of trying to figure out how to do the return, waiting on hold with their third-party corporate line to get help, and me having to run back to get a receipt that should be in their system, they forgot to ask for the card. They owe me that for messing up my account and taking so long to sell me the phone in the first place, plus the time it took to return it.
Then, a Verizon corporate store hooked me up with a replacement in about half an hour. Much better. Now if I could just get them to reverse the $199 that they charged for me not trading in my old device. We'll see how that goes. Thanks again, Target Mobile.