So I actually fixed this myself. Out of desperation and exhausting every option posted in this thread and others I finally just took the back glass off with the help of the teardown guide on ifixit and "defibulated" the battery back to life.
So the process went like this; after actually getting to the battery, cut an old USB cord and splice it down to the red and black wires leaving a few millimeters exposed and get an old USB charger, I used an old Samsung base I had, A NEWER CHARGER INCLUDING THE NOTE 8 CHARGER WILL NOT WORK ex." fast chargers, QC 2.0 and QC 3.0+" ect. The ribbon cord leading off the battery are labeled "1 2 and 7 8" and on the other side it says which pair are + & - then very carefully hold the red to + and black to - for about a minute. Reconnect battery and plug the actual Note 8 charger in and Viola! You should be charging!!!! I'm happily using my note 8 right now after a week of stressing!
P.S. My back glass was already broke and is only $12 to replace. But I feel like if it wasn't cracked I could have done without damage...other then the paint coming off the inside a little bit.