Re: Anyone else eager to LAUGH at what apple has to offer Sept 12
I saw this article in a MacRumours forum and I did have to chuckle a bit:
This is how it will go down 9/12/2012
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This will be how it goes down 9/12/2012:
Due to the fact we have already seen the damn phone already.
1) Tim Cook gets on stage, blabs about how well apple is doing in 2012. Blab more about the new iPad and sales off the charts. Blab even further about how post-pc is a reality and how samsung copies everything apple does but got their arse handed to them in court. Blab the most about how apple makes everyone's lives much better now and how the retail stores usher in billions of fans served.
2) Bulging eye Scott Forstall jumps on stage and says thanks Tim...then begins to showcase the new iOS 6.0 features and attempts to distort reality by saying there is no better mobile OS than iOS. WIth integrations into Mac OS X Mountain Lion and now across all iOS devices, iOS 6.0 has proven to be the best mobile OS bar none.
3) Tim hops back on stage after Forstall yappers on and on about how great iOS 6 is and will be; but outside the distortion field, we all know it lacks a ton of features the "other" guys have now. Tim starts introducing new iPods with wifi and the new iPod touch with 5 colors. Same 3.5" screen, same arse quality FaceTime iSight cameras. No auto focus back camera. Same expensive price.
4) Then some geeks from the company that brought you infinity blade 1 and 2 go on stage to yap on about their new infinity dugeons game...same ol' crap, different toilet. More geeks get on stage and demo iOS 6.0 features such as passbook; how to get coffee but instead of paying cash, you use your phone and go thru 3 steps more to pay for something you could've done with NFC in 1 step.
5) After the same old rehash distortion field antics, we have tim cook back on stage. He sighs and says, "we have hit a milestone in history of mobile smartphones". He rambles on about how mighty apple is and with the brilliant engineers and designers, there comes a time in history when time stops and everyone gazes at us (apple) and marvel at us and basically loves us so much, we give you the love back in the form of a new phone. We hear many people love how big the XX smartphone is and how much they want a larger display. So tim cook goes on and then says something very stupid like: "we give you a larger display but yet keep the size down to the same size we love and hold dearly". Which basically means we didn't know how to increase to a larger display without fragmenting our entire line of devices...so we stretched it...but he doesn't show you the new phone just yet.
6) He then talks more about how a smartphone should be compact, easy to hold, easy to navigate with one hand, yadda yadda yaddaa...then the covers come off when he says, "we think we have a real breathrough - we finally cracked the problems and we give you this new iPhone"
7) It's the same exact iPhone leaked images have been circulating on the net. In fact, it's actually even uglier in person on camera in HD.
8) The crowd goes buck wild.
9) It goes on sale today. Delivered to you 9/21/2012.
10) Tim cook concludes by saying how wonderful the people at apple is and we hope you will like what we have done (basically not much improvements).