Help! My Android Phone is Sentient and It Is Evil
Galaxy S3
Just some of the problems over the last two-plus years:
1. Whenever I am talking with a company or agency where I will need to navigate a phone tree, as soon as I remove the phone from my ear to press whatever button option is required, the keyboard vanishes while the call is ongoing, as I struggle to return the keyboard, often the call is dropped. This has happened my times. It is more likely to happen if I have been waiting on hold for a long time. This is despite the fact that I've turned off "gestures."
2. In the middle of taking out the trash last night my flashlight app turned off without warning, leaving me blind and surrounded by sharp protruding metal objects at every direction. When I clicked a button to return to the flashlight app, in the middle of motioning my thumb toward the app icon, my phone put the green DIAL button exactly where the flashlight app icon had been located only a slit second before. Yes. I accidentally dialed my anxiety-plagued insomniac mother several time zones away. Of course I woke her up. I haven't even made any phone calls in several days. And the most recent call I made was not even to my mother. This is how I know this phone is sentient and it is evil.
3. I can't even continue because I'm starting to cry. Let me just summarize by saying that every single thing imaginable is wrong with this phone. It is evil.
4. My phone is evil and it is sentient.
5. Please help me.
6. Ideally I would like to keep the Samsung phone but kill everything inside it, then replace the Evil with purely Wholesome technology.
Galaxy S3
Just some of the problems over the last two-plus years:
1. Whenever I am talking with a company or agency where I will need to navigate a phone tree, as soon as I remove the phone from my ear to press whatever button option is required, the keyboard vanishes while the call is ongoing, as I struggle to return the keyboard, often the call is dropped. This has happened my times. It is more likely to happen if I have been waiting on hold for a long time. This is despite the fact that I've turned off "gestures."
2. In the middle of taking out the trash last night my flashlight app turned off without warning, leaving me blind and surrounded by sharp protruding metal objects at every direction. When I clicked a button to return to the flashlight app, in the middle of motioning my thumb toward the app icon, my phone put the green DIAL button exactly where the flashlight app icon had been located only a slit second before. Yes. I accidentally dialed my anxiety-plagued insomniac mother several time zones away. Of course I woke her up. I haven't even made any phone calls in several days. And the most recent call I made was not even to my mother. This is how I know this phone is sentient and it is evil.
3. I can't even continue because I'm starting to cry. Let me just summarize by saying that every single thing imaginable is wrong with this phone. It is evil.
4. My phone is evil and it is sentient.
5. Please help me.
6. Ideally I would like to keep the Samsung phone but kill everything inside it, then replace the Evil with purely Wholesome technology.
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