Anyone who's dealing with an Alzheimer's parent finding it difficult to watch This is us?

[J Dubbs]

My father's behind the mother on the series "This Is Us" in his journey through the horrific disease called Alzheimers, so the show is basically showing me what is coming... and it is breaking my heart :'(

My wife likes to watch it, and I've forced myself to watch with her, because I'm honestly in a bit of denial about where this is heading, and I know I need to be more prepared, but the last 2 episodes have had me in tears

Anyone else dealing with something like this that would like to talk about it? I know B. Diddy understands... being a Doctor he sees this from the medical side. The toll it takes on you is unbelievable, physically and mentally.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but Alzheimer's is on the rise in a big way, and the subject is popping up everywhere I look.. in movies, tv shows, books, and even a video game I looked at the other day.

All I can say is this feels like a fate worse than death, for my father and me
Don't mean to bum anyone out, just needed to talk a little, and my sweet wife is just as stressed as me, so she's pretty full up already.

 

[belodion]

It sometimes seems that we are born to suffer and be unhappy. I doubt that that is true, but there is no doubt that some of the bad things that happen in this world are far beyond our understanding.

God bless you all, J. That disease has not affected my family, but others have. You are very definitely not alone.

 

[Kizzy Catwoman]

My stepdad suffered catastrophic brain injury in October and has developed a form of dementia on top of it. We are 5000+ miles away from him as he is in Dallas and we are in the UK. It has been really hard seeing him so confused and distressed at times. He has no sense of reality and is confused. He is in a care home currently and will stay there until we can bring him back to the UK this year. So I know how difficult this can be. He will never recover from the brain injury and at 78 is likely to get worse over time. I haven't seen the programme you are talking about but I can empathise with how tough things are for you right now.

 

[Annie_M]

My father's behind the mother on the series "This Is Us" in his journey through the horrific disease called Alzheimers, so the show is basically showing me what is coming... and it is breaking my heart :'(

My wife likes to watch it, and I've forced myself to watch with her, because I'm honestly in a bit of denial about where this is heading, and I know I need to be more prepared, but the last 2 episodes have had me in tears

Anyone else dealing with something like this that would like to talk about it? I know B. Diddy understands... being a Doctor he sees this from the medical side. The toll it takes on you is unbelievable, physically and mentally.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but Alzheimer's is on the rise in a big way, and the subject is popping up everywhere I look.. in movies, tv shows, books, and even a video game I looked at the other day.

All I can say is this feels like a fate worse than death, for my father and me
Don't mean to bum anyone out, just needed to talk a little, and my sweet wife is just as stressed as me, so she's pretty full up already.

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. My Mother had severe dementia which was never identified as Alzheimer's. However, we were encouraged to seek out a local Alzheimer's Support group. Due to that group's meeting schedule, I was unable to attend, but I wish I had been. Perhaps, that's a possibility for you. And I think bringing it up here is a great idea as well.

 

[tismydroid]

So sorry you are going through this. I have three generations of Alzheimer's on my father's side and it is very difficult watching the people you love change so devastatingly. I also work with Alzheimer/Dimentia clients and my heart pours out to the families.

One thing that helped me immensely is learning about Alzheimers/Dimentia from Teepa Snow. She has wonderful advice on how to help those affected with walking, recognizing, communication, etc etc and explains exactly what is going on in the brain so that you understand why various things are happening.

Another resource is the Alzheimers Association. They are throughout the US and have several programs as well as helpful newsletters for families.

https://teepasnow.com/

https://www.alz.org/local_resources/find_your_local_chapter

 

[Javier P]

I'm very sorry to hear that, J. I haven't seen that program but some of my friends have lived that sad situation.

You are right, you guys need to be prepared, it's going to be tough. Your father will need a lot of support and help but never forget to take care of the caregivers. My best wishes for you and your family.

 

[Laura Knotek]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand because my grandfather had Alzheimer's. He had to go to a care home when he left the house multiple times to try to 'go to work'. The police found him wandering about in the old neighbourhood where he worked years ago. He was in the care home for about 3 years until his death. I was a pallbearer at his funeral back in the mid-90s.

 

[B. Diddy]

It's definitely a difficult thing to deal with, and is one of those diseases that is often much harder on family and loved ones than on the patient himself/herself.

One thing to consider is to make use of music therapy, especially if he was very much into music. There have been a lot of experiences with dementia patients responding very positively to music.

 

[J Dubbs]

Thanks so much guys and gals for the awesome support.. and links you really are the best Thanks Javier for the reminder to take care of ourselves, that's something that has definitely been put on the back burner since my dad developed the Alzheimer's. I had my hair cut last week, and afterwards it took my dad several seconds to recognize me. It's the first time that's happened, and it shook me pretty good I'm scared of what's coming, but I know it's part of life, and we'll get through it. It's just such a hard way to lose someone.

B that's a great suggestion about the music, my dad was a professional musician. All his albums and stereo equipment are still stored out of state, but I'm going to try and set something up for him temporarily... that might keep his agitation down some. I've really had to learn that when my dad's being mean to me it's the disease, and to not take it personally. It was extremely hard at first to not take it personally.. because, you know, he's my dad lol. When I finally started asking him to be nice, he would apologize profusely and repeatedly, saying he didn't remember any of it. I believe him. But it's still hard.

I did think about a support group Annie, but honestly so far I've chickened out For me watching the show was brutal... I realized my dads just starting to enter the real bad zone, and we've had it comparatively easy so far