Lock screen timeout too short, settings won't accept my pattern

[shiggity diggity]

My Samsung Galaxy S7 only shows the unlock screen for ~1.5 seconds. Sometimes it even goes back to sleep WHILE unlocking, after I enter my pattern!

I've tried going into Secure lock settings, but when I try to confirm pattern and draw current pattern, it brings me to the same pattern entry page, and I'm stuck in an endless loop of trying to enter my pattern over and over again. I've tried restarting it several times, INLCUDING IN SAFE MODE, but it keeps happening.

 

[CaribMas]

Any success yet?

 

[shiggity diggity]

No amount of restarts seem to do the trick. I discovered that pressing the home button while unlocking keeps it awake, and either takes me to the last used app, or exits the app to go to the home screen.

Also, changing my unlock pattern to a PIN still gives me an endless loop of entering my PIN, the same issue as the pattern.