UPDATE:
Wednesday: I stopped in a local Verizon kiosk at my mall and tried the quick commands on another Note. Worked perfectly. They said I'd have to call Customer Service to get a replacement. (Note: The employee didn't even know about the feature!) So I called Verizon (*611) and spoke with a "head tech" (whatever that means). He had no idea what was going on esp. given the factory reset I tried. He said the only option was to get a new device or try a different Gmail account (which I really don't want to move my stuff to a new one). Because the Note is an "iconic" device, they wouldn't ship me one unless I prepaid for it (then would be reimbursed when they received my "defective" phone. So I planned to pick up a new one on Thursday.
Thursday: I picked up a new one. After logging into my Gmail account during activation, I tried QC again...still no go. The employee there again had no idea about the feature, but suggested maybe I ought to try a different Gmail account. I said I would later (I had another appointment). So later, I skipped adding my Gmail account (after doing a factory reset) and BAM...Quick Commands worked! But what about my Gmail account....I added it after activation, and BAM-quick commands doesn't work again. THUS THE PROBLEM LIES WITH MY GMAIL ACCOUNT.
I want to note that I use two step authentication (through Google). Is this the problem? Do any of you use two step authentication with Gmail? I'd still love for QC to work, but do I want to sacrifice security for my main digital account to use it? (I'm going to try to post on Samsung's site about the problem).