[Chatter] "Where everybody knows your name ..."

Happy Father's Day :) to all the Dad's out there. :)
Also don't forget to say that to your Dad on this day,and give him a hug :)
I wish I could say it to mine.Actually I did in my thoughts :)
 
Ugh. Drizzly cool damp day. Plus I'm not feeling great.

Happy Fathers day everyone

Sent from my Galaxy S4, somewhere in Canada
 
Srs in regards to music?

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I am not going back to my iphone, but I do miss the simplicity of itunes though. I will do some research, there has to be a better way to search music. Maybe I should just add my library in mass storage mode and be done with it lol.

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I am not going back to my iphone, but I do miss the simplicity of itunes though. I will do some research, there has to be a better way to search music. Maybe I should just add my library in mass storage mode and be done with it lol.

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I use "Ok Google" to search for artists or songs, and have the search default to Google Play Music.
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This is my exact gripe. You have to be connected to the net for this functionality. We need a real good offline music solution that is google based. I want a better experience google!

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"Offline"? It's 2014, my man...that does not compute!

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"Offline"? It's 2014, my man...that does not compute!

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I get ya, and agree somewhat, but it is my music, I shouldn't need to ask the net for "permission" to muddle through my stuff lol!

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Going to get some premium double twist. That may be enough to quell my gripes for now

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âš  WARNING âš 

NOT a happy post. And its long. Just need to vent. Hope I don't bum everyone out

It's father's day, 2014. I can't be with my dad. And I'm not a dad to my step kids. I'm just Andrew. Not a dad, not a husband, not anything except they guy who works too much, makes too little, and is cranky far too often. I want to be more of a dad, a father, a hero. But I'm not. I can't. I work evenings so I miss a lot of family time during the week. And come the weekend I'm so drained (mentally, physically, emotionally) that I find it hard to adjust to noise and chaos that I suppose is the norm about here.

So often I need peace and quiet. Especially to recover from the week that was and to prepare myself for the week to come. So handling noise and chaos when I need peace generally doesn't go well. I often retreat to the bedroom, wishing I could shut out the disturbance yet feeling guilty about not being super dad - always ready for anything, energetic, full of love and patience and tons of money so we could do whatever we wanted as a family.

But I'm not any of those things. If I was they crying type, I'm sure I could fill buckets. I'm not that either. Mostly I'm just numb. Or tired and on edge, looking at what I want to be and seeing all that I'm not.

And really the one person I wish would back me up and support me and love me.... seems to just see all the bad, and by sharing all my bad traits with her kids, has managed to turn them away from me as well. Not because they see me as those things, but because Mom says I'm those things. And if Mom says those things, it must be true.

So Fathers day 2014 I'm hiding in the bedroom. She's gone fishing with the kids and a friend. And I'm hurt. I'm sad.

She makes a big deal about what she wants for Mother's Day and if she doesn't get it complains in an underhanded way. Or just outright says "I never get anything for Mother's Day!" and hinting strongly that she's quite hurt by this.

Yet if I ask for something, I'm being selfish. Never mind expecting a card or a hug for Fathers Day. Nope, nothing yet and probably nothing ever.

You see this just seems to prove a point. I'm not loved here, I'm tolerated. And if I didn't bring home the bacon that tolerance wouldn't last very long. I'm good for the money I bring home, it pays the rent groceries and the bills (mostly).

I'm too tired to deal with this much longer, to damn broke to go for a divorce, and way too in debt to even be able to start a life again anyway.

Suicide is an ugly word. It really is. And its not that I want to die, it's the fact I really have so little (if anything) to live for. And I have no inkling or desire to go down that road. But I'll be honest.... I do think about it rather often.

I don't like what I've become. I just see no hope of change, and in a negative/hostile environment change is damn near impossible anyway. See, if I could write a cheque so she and the kids would be ok for a couple years, I'd do it - and shortly disappear from their lives soon after. For good.

You see... Its all my fault. And even if something isn't my fault, it STILL is my fault. I'm to blame. Because for damn sure it's not hers. It never was and never will be. It's always someone else's fault.

Happy Father's Day, Andrew....





Sent from my Galaxy S4, somewhere in Canada
 
âš  WARNING âš 

NOT a happy post. And its long. Just need to vent. Hope I don't bum everyone out

It's father's day, 2014. I can't be with my dad. And I'm not a dad to my step kids. I'm just Andrew. Not a dad, not a husband, not anything except they guy who works too much, makes too little, and is cranky far too often. I want to be more of a dad, a father, a hero. But I'm not. I can't. I work evenings so I miss a lot of family time during the week. And come the weekend I'm so drained (mentally, physically, emotionally) that I find it hard to adjust to noise and chaos that I suppose is the norm about here.

So often I need peace and quiet. Especially to recover from the week that was and to prepare myself for the week to come. So handling noise and chaos when I need peace generally doesn't go well. I often retreat to the bedroom, wishing I could shut out the disturbance yet feeling guilty about not being super dad - always ready for anything, energetic, full of love and patience and tons of money so we could do whatever we wanted as a family.

But I'm not any of those things. If I was they crying type, I'm sure I could fill buckets. I'm not that either. Mostly I'm just numb. Or tired and on edge, looking at what I want to be and seeing all that I'm not.

And really the one person I wish would back me up and support me and love me.... seems to just see all the bad, and by sharing all my bad traits with her kids, has managed to turn them away from me as well. Not because they see me as those things, but because Mom says I'm those things. And if Mom says those things, it must be true.

So Fathers day 2014 I'm hiding in the bedroom. She's gone fishing with the kids and a friend. And I'm hurt. I'm sad.

She makes a big deal about what she wants for Mother's Day and if she doesn't get it complains in an underhanded way. Or just outright says "I never get anything for Mother's Day!" and hinting strongly that she's quite hurt by this.

Yet if I ask for something, I'm being selfish. Never mind expecting a card or a hug for Fathers Day. Nope, nothing yet and probably nothing ever.

You see this just seems to prove a point. I'm not loved here, I'm tolerated. And if I didn't bring home the bacon that tolerance wouldn't last very long. I'm good for the money I bring home, it pays the rent groceries and the bills (mostly).

I'm too tired to deal with this much longer, to damn broke to go for a divorce, and way too in debt to even be able to start a life again anyway.

Suicide is an ugly word. It really is. And its not that I want to die, it's the fact I really have so little (if anything) to live for. And I have no inkling or desire to go down that road. But I'll be honest.... I do think about it rather often.

I don't like what I've become. I just see no hope of change, and in a negative/hostile environment change is damn near impossible anyway. See, if I could write a cheque so she and the kids would be ok for a couple years, I'd do it - and shortly disappear from their lives soon after. For good.

You see... Its all my fault. And even if something isn't my fault, it STILL is my fault. I'm to blame. Because for damn sure it's not hers. It never was and never will be. It's always someone else's fault.

Happy Father's Day, Andrew....





Sent from my Galaxy S4, somewhere in Canada

I hear you, a lot of parents that work way too much feel very similar. More importantly, I ******* love you. Families aren't easy and you haven't given up, you're not the deadbeat, the abuser - you're sacrificing for them. I respect that. A lot. And even if they don't show appreciation at the right times, in time they will remember how much of you that you gave for them. The sacrifice isn't just time and memories, it's deeper and it sucks to feel like it's not being noticed. The only advice I can give (I know you may not want advice) is to remind yourself to show your wife, your closest friends, your kids how much you appreciate their contributions. That may feel backwards today, but worst case scenario they feel a little better and best case you start a habit of reciprocation. Vent away good sir, you're among friends.