So it was yesterday that FRG22D was supposed to start rolling out.
As reported in another thread, I speculated that this will first be hand delivered by Verizon to a select few users. I believe, however, I was wrong about the delivery method. Documents leaked by Verizon, Google, and Motorola shed some light on this secret process and explain the process that can't really be discussed without the word "cluster" somewhere therein.
FRG22D is a hand-crafted, artisan release using time-honored traditions handed down from generation to generation in secret ceremonies. Through hidden video cameras Geraldo Rivera has recorded brief excerpts of the rite involving blessed Mountain Dew, VP-sanctified non-vegetarian pizza, and LED candles.
Each file is individually tailored to the user and phone in question.
The releases will be extensively tested by drunken, slightly depressed former bond-traders with very large fingers and poor social skills.
After making it through the QA cycle, each file is checked in, burned to 3.5" floppy (not the 5.25" as previously reported), gift-wrapped in foil-based paper of a color chosen to complement the user's phone case, and then be-ribboned and bowed by Fifi Hotspot, VP of Distribution.
Each diskette will then be delivered by GPS-implanted lemurs and marmosets. It is recommended that you tip them with aged brie upon receipt.
With all of this in mind, please understand if you don't get FRG22D right away.
As reported in another thread, I speculated that this will first be hand delivered by Verizon to a select few users. I believe, however, I was wrong about the delivery method. Documents leaked by Verizon, Google, and Motorola shed some light on this secret process and explain the process that can't really be discussed without the word "cluster" somewhere therein.
FRG22D is a hand-crafted, artisan release using time-honored traditions handed down from generation to generation in secret ceremonies. Through hidden video cameras Geraldo Rivera has recorded brief excerpts of the rite involving blessed Mountain Dew, VP-sanctified non-vegetarian pizza, and LED candles.
Each file is individually tailored to the user and phone in question.
The releases will be extensively tested by drunken, slightly depressed former bond-traders with very large fingers and poor social skills.
After making it through the QA cycle, each file is checked in, burned to 3.5" floppy (not the 5.25" as previously reported), gift-wrapped in foil-based paper of a color chosen to complement the user's phone case, and then be-ribboned and bowed by Fifi Hotspot, VP of Distribution.
Each diskette will then be delivered by GPS-implanted lemurs and marmosets. It is recommended that you tip them with aged brie upon receipt.
With all of this in mind, please understand if you don't get FRG22D right away.