iPhone fast charge is a joke

lol my note doesn't. Have had to reset it three times because the updates always break something that i can't fix without a complete wipe. I love this phone but this is irritating.

You must not have a N8 since there have not been 3 updates for this phone, yet. However, it could be you have an older Note, where a minority of owners shared your complaint.
 
Stand behind their product, Yeah Tthey are so good they even teach their customer how to hold the phone right to not block the innovative antenna :-)