I'm assuming that by "read them as a headset" you mean have microphone capabilities?
There's nothing "magical" about the iPhone headset earbuds, they are a standard 4-way 3.5" TRRS plug (stereo plus mic)...at least as far as I'm aware. You should notice the 3 black lines on the jack itself -- when looking at a jack, 1 black line = mono, 2 black lines = stereo (or mono+mic) and 3 black lines = stereo + mic. The black lines essentially separate the different contact points on the jack, so if the jack isn't fully inserted into the phone, those contact points may not be lined up correctly, and thus the headphones may not function as designed.
My guess is that if your phone doesn't "read" the earphones as a headset, that either the jack isn't fully inserted into the phone (sometimes it does take a little extra push), or that the headphones you're using are faulty. As long as all of the contacts are made, you should have full stereo and mic with any 4-way TRRS plug. Of course, if you have problems with other headsets, it could be the phone itself that has a problem. As far as I know, you shouldn't have "do" anything to get it work -- the device should automatically recognize the headphone type when you insert it.