1) long Battery life
2) no bloated UI, simplicity is king : Just give me some icons and a minimal UI, not that crap they have in the Android wear promotional video. Why should anyone want to sacrifice already scarce display area for a profile pic instead of the text.
3) readable in direct, glaring sunlight.
4) Waterproof/scratch-/shock-resistant
5) media control: I want to control my music from the watch, FRW-FFW-skip-play/pause,choose track/ playlist)
6) don't make speaking mandatory: I already feel awkward speaking in a full bus or on the street. Speaking to your wrist would be really unbearable. (I hate those people speaking into their headphones)
7) please no Data hog: Google is not really known for data management. Opera uses far less data than google chrome on android even though both have dedicated servers to minimize your data usage. I don't want the phone to pull every little detail from the web. Pull those data from my phone since it is already on there.
8) please not everything google now: it doesn't work. it just doesn't work.
9) give me a pulsing multi color LED light.
10) Offline use: Imagine it pulls once a day Data for like long term stuff (Birthdays, calendar entries, Alarms). This way I can still get notifications for my appointments without connection to my phone or don't miss an alarm.
11) a high density display: I want the watch faces to be crisp and clear (so I can get watch face of a omega sea master with a date window

)
12) make it vibrating
What I want from functions is actually just: Make it a good watch. Give me music control. Notifications for all Apps (I use IM, mails and RSS extensively), show me who is calling me (+decline and/or put on on silent call). I don't need to search stuff on my phone, I don't need to talk with it, I don't need to have some fancy but useless stuff like personal navigation on my watch.
I don't n