Not meant as an insult, but I don't know why anyone would think that "Pre-Order" means "Get it early" in the first place.
All Pre-Order should mean is you got to place an order for it sooner, and have the benefit of home delivery instead of standing in line and dealing with upselling by the store reps (I don't hold upselling against the reps, its part of their job and sometimes can be helpful with choosing accessories).
I'm sure the carriers are bound by a shipping agreement with Samsung to deliver the phones to retail, all within a set delivery window. Despite rumors, I'm betting Samsung's goal is to have the initial rush happen during the first week in October, with the reports of unboxing and user (positive) feedback happening over the weekend, to start word of mouth about the phones really spiking from the 7th (monday) onward.
Because each store is probably getting a limited number of phones to start with, they are probably trying to avoid the nightmare of 50 people all showing up on launch day claiming that they were "promised" a Note 3 would be available for them; when the store was only provided with 20 units and sell them out on a "first come, first served" basis - and hopefully limit 1 per customer to keep the scalpers out. That's why even employees are not allowed to get a phone from their own shipment, and why most are not going to admit to having the phone available until they have the green light from upstairs to start selling them to people actually in the store and ready to buy right then.
I do feel for you guys who Pre-ordered. I'm fully expecting to have to get up early and stand in line at my local T-Mobile store on Wednesday. Fortunately for me, it's 1. My day off from work anyway so I can park early and check on breakfast if there is not already a line before the store opens; 2. I'm well overdue for an upgrade, so i'm hoping to get a good deal with my current plan; and 3. Considering the thread about "Which Carrier comes with what in the box." I may be looking at picking up some accessories with the purchase.
I won't be unhappy if the pre-orders show up before I have a chance to get mine, I'm just hoping we can all have a huge "Tips and Tricks" unboxing party thread over the next few days.