Thanks for all the great responses. BTW, in case everyone couldn't tell

, I was irritated at the time I posted, and was purposely being over the top.
You can't make a legitimate reason about android with a Samsung TouchWiz device. You have to experience AOSP by either buying a SGS4 Google Edition, HTC One Google Edition, or one of the Nexus devices. OEM's are known to place their horrendous android reskins on their handsets. (Motorola is an exception since their new UX is almost vanilla android)
None of my complaints in this thread have anything to do with Touchwiz.
easy fix for you. Get an iphone, problem solved
No thanks, I much prefer Android. But I still want to see it improve.
It's not Google, it's Samsung. try a Nexus 4 and if you don't like it, simple solution- back to the iPhone.
See above, this has nothing to do with Samsung. I knew when I mentioned that Apple handles the issue of notifications better some people would assume I had an iPhone, but I didn't. I do own an iPad though so I'm familiar with how iOS handles notifications.
Except if you read his rant, it has nothing to do with Touchwiz but everything to do with apps, and how app notifications aren't centrally managed or not managed in any consistent way.
BINGO!
I think Google is slowly moving towards something like that, but we'll see.. In the meantime it's a mess, and while I'm not angry like the OP, I do agree that this needs to be cleaned up.
And IMO, this is why people still buy iPhones. They're not "clueless sheep who just buy iphones because they're stupid and buy what everyone else buys". Apple has actually thought these things through BEFORE releasing the product! Granted, some of their decisions are now getting obsolete and is limiting the OS, but they were strong design decisions initially. Meanwhile Google puts stuff out there and see how it evolves, that's why every Android version changes looks and functionality. Because Google didn't think it through before, they put it out there to see what people do with it THEN improve it. Both approaches have theor pros and cons obviously...
BINGO again! I don't think Apple has the perfect user experience either, but one thing I've noticed they are better at than Android and Windows is making sure developers can't irritate the hell out of users. I know some will correctly disagree since different users can be irritated by different things.
they made it easy to disable notifications.
If u get a notification, and don't want it from that app anymore, just long press the notification and hit app info, and unchecked the box.
Before you didnt really have an option unless it was in the app settings
Great info, I will try that.
Wanting Google to vet applications or force developers to do something a certain way isn't the solution.
They don't have to vet applications, all they have to do is create a workflow that stops the user from having to dig through settings to turn off notifications. For instance, when a new app installs, if the developer wants to give notifications, make the app pop up asking for permission to do so, same as it does for accessing the phones contacts/GPS etc. BTW, the press and hold setting someone just mentioned above is nice, but in the end it actually reinforces my point that they need to handle it better. 95% of users are never going to know that if you press and hold a notification it takes you to a setting where you can turn it off. So while that feature is good, they still need to make it better for the majority of users.
As for a notification catch-all setting, that's ludicrous. Why would I look anywhere besides the settings for an app to change the way that app notifies me? That's as far from intuitive as possible. Like turning off the circuit breaker to silence your alarm clock.
It's not ludicrous, and it's also not the only way it could be done. There are multiple different ways this could be handled more elegantly, that could allow for notifications to be accessed within the apps settings, but would also making the setting and turning off of them easier and more consistent. Just to give one simple example, the fact that different developers can name them different things is sheer idiocy. One developer calls it "notifications". Another calls it "tips and tricks". They could also be controllable from the apps as well as a central area.
I get where you are coming from. I just got here from using iPhone and I think settings and notifications in Android are the biggest mess I've ever seen.
My only problem is, I don't know what I CAN turn off without it messing other things up. Like AT&T locker? what the hell is that? Can I turn it off?
I can't be certain but I Think my phone is being backed up in like 6 places... no idea....
It's an absolute mess.
A more apt analogy would be like having a central remote control which you can use to manipulate every single device in your house, but it is located in quite an inconvenient location (but then you only need to be in one place to control everything). Vs having an individual remote for every single device (can be more convenient for the small stuff, but juggling with so many remotes can get tedious fast).
It has its pros and cons either way.
IOS consolidates most settings in one central app. This makes it easy for when you are trying to change a similar setting for multiple apps simultaneously (such as deciding which apps you want to receive notifications from, what sort of alerts and how many all at one go), as opposed to having to go into 10-20 different apps to achieve the same result. It is also a catch-all that allows me a bird's eye view of what apps I have which allow for notifications, which are on/off and so on.
On the flip side, this also makes it quite cumbersome for certain other settings which I may want access to on a more regular basis. For example, chrome lets me enter private browsing mode right from the app itself; but for mobile safari, I have to go back into settings itself to turn this function on and off. If I want to change the default font for the notes app, I have to do so from settings (should be available from the app itself).
IMO, there is no one best solution. What I would like to see from both platforms is for the developers to sift out the settings which I likely won't need to touch as often and would benefit from being able to manipulate all at one go (like notifications, privacy settings, sync preferences etc), and consolidate them all into one settings location. More common toggles should be left within the app itself.
That would really be the best of both worlds.
GREAT post and I agree there is no "one" proper answer, I just know there is a "better answer"

.
I don't know. Seems like it is just more android noobs complaining because they don't know how android works, and just want it to work like iOS. On the other hand people that have been using android know how it works and prefer it the Android way.
I knew there would be a few koolaid drinkers

would be dismissive and try to make this be about being a noob or "wanting it to be like iOS" so if that floats your boat, go for it

.
I don't understand how after the first day or so this could even be an issue.
It's an issue because I care about good user design and want to see Android get better. I also know that most users won't ever change the settings, which means most users won't be able to take advantage of notifications in a meaningful way since they'll be inundated with them. So it's in Google's interest to improve it. I'm far from the first one to comment on this, I've read tons of complaints about it, but since I hadn't upgraded my Android phone in over 2 years I didn't realize just how bad it had become.