RE: Dumb #1
I don't see how Verizon is dumb for how it doesn't allow a third party retailer to place an order on an already back ordered phone. I think it makes perfect sense. If they did, I could see the crappy third party stores placing large orders and making the back order worse.
Re: Dumb #2
Why should Verizon go against its well stated policy just because some random third party said they would? In fact, I highly doubt the third party store could actually give you the deal. I imagine they were either lying, or they would do something weird like not place the actual order until your upgrade date. I bet they will do all kinds of sketchy things to make money off of you.