Thunderbolt Theater

Geeksy

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2011
219
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Hey everybody!

After this huge wait and frustration, we're finally going to get our phone. Good job for lasting this long. It'll be totally worth it. I've had a blast, and will look forward to getting everything out of this phone with you guys.

As thanks for the fun, I've written a little piece about the Thunderbolt. It pokes fun at every side of the matter, but it's all in jest. I hope you enjoy it!



The Story of Thunderbolt

Many months ago?
HTC: Hey, Verizon! I know you've got an awesome new LTE network going up soon, and I have an idea for your first LTE phone! It's this great looking 4.3" phone. It's like a mix of the Incredible and the Evo.
VZW: I like it. We'll call it Thunderbolt.
HTC: Buh.. But we already have a name. It's the Mecha. That's a lot cooler than-
VZW: Nope. Thunderbolt.
HTC: Wha.. Wouldn't you just call it Lightening or something? I mean, Thunderbolt, isn't that a move from pokemon?
VZW: No. Maybe. Shut up.
HTC: Whatever, we'll just go over here.

A little while later
HTC: Hey Verizon! We're doing really well with the.. sigh? Thunderbolt.. Just wanted to let you know.
VZW: LEAK PIX.
HTC: Why.. Why would we do that that doesn't even-
VZW: LOTS OF PIX.
HTC: You're sending them to every big tech site, the phone isn't even close to done.
LTE Engineers: Let alone the network.
VZW: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
HTC: Could be worse, right?

Yup.
CES: Alright, Verizon, what have you got for us?
VZW: OMGEE LTE THUNDERBOLT HTC 4.3" SUPRE AWESOME NETFLIX NFL MAGIC CUPHOLDERS YEEEEAAAHHH
AT&T: What?
LTE Es: What?
Atrix: *shrug*
Android Central: Hey, guys! Thunderbolt!
AC Forums: Yaaaaay!

VZW: Hey, HTC, the phone's ready, right?
HTC: Well, no, we're running into some-
VZW: Because the Atrix came out.
HTC: Well, yeah, but that's not the best phone, I mean it's Motorla. And that laptop mount thing sucks and-
VZW: So I tweeted that you'll get the phone out.
HTC: Why?! Your network is isn't working yet!
LTE Es: We tried that. Doesn't work
VZW: Also, there's this guy.
Steve Jobs: Hay guize.
HTC, AC, AT&T, Earth: What.
VZW: Yeah, we're gonna focus all of our energy on that now.
VZW Sales: But.. but.. we had such a nice advertising schedule and everything.
LTE Es: And we're still working on the LTE network, we can't just drop everything now and go back to 3G
Jobs: Cool story bro.
VZW: Too bad.

Best Buy: Haaaay everybody! Valentine's Day! Thunderbolt! GIT IT.
HTC, LTE: What.
Everyone else: Hooray!

Valentine's Day
BB: Whoops, our bad. Come back in 10 days.
AC Forums: Yaaaay?

24th
BB: Nope.
Phil: Awkward?
ACF: But.. but?
OG Incredible: Hey guys! I have a Thunderbolt
Everyone: Cool story, bro
OG Incredible: *pics*
Everyone: ?
BMX: Where's the #pandalove?

28th
Bennnnn: Hey, so? March Tenth.
ACF: Yaaay!
Seminoles Fan: RAAAAAAAAARRRR
BMX: I can't find the #PandaLove
ACF: Thanks Ben5/Be5n/Ben^5!

March
Bennnnn: Maybe not.
ACF: Boooooo. You're not real, TROLL!
Seminoles Fan: I TOLD YOU.
BMX: I said 17th first. No respect.. #PandaSad
Someone: Probably the 17th.
Bennnnn: Probably.
BMX: #PandaMorose
The Deceiver: April.
ACF: Hooray?

March 14
Bennnnn: Friggin iPad2.
The Deceiver: April.
ACF: ANSWER ALL OF OUR QUESTIONS AT ONCE.
BMX: #PandaHavingASandwich
Bennnnn: Also, it's really probably the 17th.
ACF: 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17?
VZW: LOL Got away with it.
ACF: Nope.
VZW: #PandaSad

March 15th
VZW: It'll be the 17th. We never said an official date, so you can't blame us, LOLOLOLOLOL
ACF: LJRHFRIWU4F;QWORU PHONE NOW PLZ
Corey: 30 billion threads about the announcement. Swell.
The Deceiver: So?
BMX: #PandaPanda

March 16th
VZW: Free WHS and $30/month Unlimited LTE.
HTC: Damn straight.
LTE Es: Oh God.. The horror? No, no?
BMX: #YouMightBeAPandaIf?
ACF: Every thread is now about how I got a pre-order but didn't.
BMX: #PandaIfLooksLikePandalf,MasterPandaWizard

March 17th
ACF: *Silence, but for the muffled taps on a phone screen*
LTE: SHE CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS CAP'N. SO MUCH BANDWIDTH.
VZW: LOL LG Revolution and Bionic now.
BB: And nobody suspects a thing?
BMX: Poemz #PandaLaureate
HTC: That was dumb.
Skype: Seriously.
Netflix: F'real.
 
Had to give you a thanks for that... seems like we waited for seconds rather than months when you put it like that...
 
I read the whole thing and understood every reference... that's so sad! I need this phone in my hands so I can get back to the real world.

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk
 
Very sad to have understood that. I've been posting here since right before the Super Bowl when pre-orders started and doesn't look like it will stop (at least first one year :))
 
Haha! Thanks for this. Made the past month on the forums laughable (even if it wasn't at the time).
 
Funny as He//... ;)
I actually snorted at the BB: our bad line... if they had only said that much... ;)
 

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