Thanks for the comments and suggestions all, it's great to hear a helpful community. I know my post was long, I was trying to be sarcastic but it doesn't come through too well in text. I will say, however, to the comments about my "accusations" towards the vocal Android users I see on forums, that I understand it goes both ways, and iMore.com sure has an aggressive community, but I'm talking about the comments I see on mostly journalistic sites that attempt (key word) to be unbiased. iMore is clearly an iPhone site, so it's expected, but on many tech news sites, I can only tell you what I saw, and what I saw was very demeaning, aggressive, and ignorant Android fans coming out in droves. And blaming that on lawsuits is ill-conceived I think, courts ruled and it's well within Apple's rights to file the suits, just as it is Samsung's. But enough about that...
So it seems from the comments that I might have a slightly off-kilter unit. My unit gets warm pretty frequently, moreso than what many of you are describing. As for the lagginess, I don't have any power-saving features enabled, and yes, Google maps seems to be working okay when GPS is not enabled, so it may be an antennae issue. I've been eagerly awaiting Jelly Bean so I can see if that improves my performance, but I think I'm going to go in sooner than later and see if the unit is performing below standards.
I will say that when this think works well, I love it and am very happy with the switch. I sort of missed my iPhone for the first 2 weeks, but now, I feel like this is my phone, and as Android improves with each release, that might be the case going forward. We'll see.
Thanks everyone for your help, and any further comments are more thane welcome. I'll update after I bring the phone in for a check.