I set the password when i got my phone, but in the mean time i forgot what i set it to. i dont mind if i have to erase whats in there already to do so.
Welcome to Android Central! Which phone? In general, there's no way to retrieve Private Mode or hidden file passwords. For every phone that I've looked into that has a Private Mode, you have to factory reset the phone to reset the Private Mode password (which, of course, means that you lose those hidden files). Sorry!
I have a Stylo 4+ running Android 8.1.0. Thats the answer ive found running through various threads around the web too, so that may just be the solution. Is there a good way to back everything up so that i can do a reset and then just reapply my apps, songs, photos, etc. to the way i had them?
Unfortunately, there aren't any good comprehensive backup/restore apps or programs. You might be able to use LG Backup or LG Bridge to backup certain settings and data: https://www.lg.com/us/support/product-help/CT10000025-20150104708841-others. Other options include uploading files to the cloud (like Google Drive, Google Photos, or Google Play Music).