Dear Fred,
Mr. Google here. A funny thing just happened. Mrs. Google rang the dinner bell, calling me into the house for dinner. But, when I finally got in here, it turns out she had only turned the oven on and dinner was nowhere near being ready! Isn't that hilarious? LOL
Anyway, I wanted to apologize for a few things that have transpired recently, and some that have NOT. LOL.
First of all, I'm sorry I tricked you into pre-ordering one of our nifty new Nexus tablets last month. We shouldn't have given you the impression that, by showing unfailing devotion and enthusiasm for our company and product, you would somehow receive the tablet before everyone else. To think, ALL of the retailers are sold out! Isn't that just dandy....for us? Anyway, sorry you were the first to order and the last to receive.
I'd also like to apologize for lying to you about your order being shipped on Friday, when actually I simply asked UPS for a tracking number so they'd come pick it up on Monday. Don't forget, your two-day shipping starts from the day the the package actually starts to move towards our outdoor parking lot, not the day we told you it had shipped, which is last Friday. Hey! That sounds like what the wifey did with my dinner! "Hey, honey! Ring the bell when dinner is ready, not when you turn the oven on! Silly!" LOL.
Anyway, Mr. Charon. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Since we treated you so poorly, tied up $287 in your checking acount for three weeks, let the retailers sell out before shipping yours and lied to you about when the product was actually shipped, we'd like to refund you the price of shipping, upgrade your shipping to 1-day, give you one of the leather cases we had designed for the tablet. IS that a square deal, or what?
Oh, by the way, just pick one of those fabulous consolation prizes, not all three! Silly! LOL
Toodles!
The Google Family.
Mr. Google here. A funny thing just happened. Mrs. Google rang the dinner bell, calling me into the house for dinner. But, when I finally got in here, it turns out she had only turned the oven on and dinner was nowhere near being ready! Isn't that hilarious? LOL
Anyway, I wanted to apologize for a few things that have transpired recently, and some that have NOT. LOL.
First of all, I'm sorry I tricked you into pre-ordering one of our nifty new Nexus tablets last month. We shouldn't have given you the impression that, by showing unfailing devotion and enthusiasm for our company and product, you would somehow receive the tablet before everyone else. To think, ALL of the retailers are sold out! Isn't that just dandy....for us? Anyway, sorry you were the first to order and the last to receive.
I'd also like to apologize for lying to you about your order being shipped on Friday, when actually I simply asked UPS for a tracking number so they'd come pick it up on Monday. Don't forget, your two-day shipping starts from the day the the package actually starts to move towards our outdoor parking lot, not the day we told you it had shipped, which is last Friday. Hey! That sounds like what the wifey did with my dinner! "Hey, honey! Ring the bell when dinner is ready, not when you turn the oven on! Silly!" LOL.
Anyway, Mr. Charon. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Since we treated you so poorly, tied up $287 in your checking acount for three weeks, let the retailers sell out before shipping yours and lied to you about when the product was actually shipped, we'd like to refund you the price of shipping, upgrade your shipping to 1-day, give you one of the leather cases we had designed for the tablet. IS that a square deal, or what?
Oh, by the way, just pick one of those fabulous consolation prizes, not all three! Silly! LOL
Toodles!
The Google Family.