Not only does Android like "to keep RAM filled to a certain extent", unused RAM is wasted RAM, so it keeps RAM filled as much as possible. Other than that, I can't add anything to what B. Diddy said - disable or uninstall apps you'll never use (and aren't needed by the system), use a faster launcher, etc.
As far as lag goes, the faster and larger phones get (more and faster RAM, more and faster ROM, faster CPUs and GPUs), the larger the apps get. (Most programmers use class files even if a few lines of code will do the same thing in a lot less code - IOW, programming is a lazy man's game, but the easier it gets, the more powerful the computer has to be to run the same app at the same speed. "How little RAM can you write the app in" is no longer considered a goal, except among die-hard hackers [in the old sense of the word - super-expert programmers].) So after about 2 years, almost any phone running current apps will lag. If you buy the flagship phone, you can usually expect to eke out about 3 years use (more if you can put up with more lag), but since phone hardware isn't upgradeable (yet), we have to be prepared to buy a new phone every few years if we want a fast phone to run current apps.