iOS is for the "I don't want to know anything about computers, I just want to use this thing" crowd. Android is for the rest of us.
It's one thing if you don't care for Apple or their products, but to generalize like that about ALL the people who do use their products, like myself, is really silly and narrow minded. When people say things like that about Apple, it makes them sound as ridiculous as the Apple fanboys.
I know a crapload about "computers"

, as you say, and also prefer to use Apple products for certain things at certain times over any other platform, Android, Windows, whatever. I use an Android phone and love everything about it, but my family and I enjoy the heck out of our iPods and iPad as well. We use a laptop that runs Microsoft Windows, because we like it and it works really well for what we do on the laptop. Why would anyone limit themselves to a single platform, if the others offer different things that are fun, entertaining, educational, productive, easy to use, whatever the case may be?
So back on track, I hope the OP has had some success with the issues encountered with the Android phone. Let us know if things are getting better/easier.