UPDATE
Ok after getting very frustrated with this supposed memory problem. I FINALLY figured it out.
Here is the deal, if you look at my previous post where I made mention of the 35MB of email. Well it climbed to almost 60MB. After check all the email settings and making sure things were "suppose to be deleted" Well to make this short it turns out that the fancy stock email program by default (which I have linked to gmail) never really deletes the messages it just stores them in memory as well as any and all attachments in the phones internal memory, NOT the memory card. I first removed the widget. Then went into manage applications, and clicked on clear data. Which wiped out the 60MB, then I did a force stop.
Now the phone also come with a Gmail app already installed on the phone. Im using this and can report now that the phone was hovering around 26-29% and was super bogged down none the less. With what I stated above Im now at 61% free memory. Im referencing what the app Quick settings is telling me (how accurate this is I dont really know).
So, that seems to be the cause with the other "email" app that is included on the phone.
BTW this is my wifes phone and it was bombarded with facebook emails and tons of other emails with worthless attachments. Not to mention the 300 messages that were in spam! That the other email program did not show. Where they were at your guess is as good as mine. Gmail poped them right up and I was able to delete them no problem. Plus it give you archive feature. Its basically the same deal as if you were in gmail itself. Just less fancy.
Phone is running very smooth now, shes happy. Hope this helps someone else out.