I just use a widget on my home screen. But if you have the calendar set to give you notications, shouldn't it show up in the notification bar? Oh, are you using google calendar or samsung? Maybe that makes a difference.
The only thing I saw when checking out the stock calendar is you can set up a custom reminder. So if you want it a day before an event on you just set it that way. You can also do a customize setting and be a week or more.