Im sorry you guys are having such luck. Not sure if it was mentioned but background sync'ing of apps (friends stream, tweets, exchance, etc) can be hell on batteries. You may also want to look into the airrave. I know these phones eat batteries like none other when they're trying to find signal and cant. I've also heard some people talking about their phone appearing to go to sleep but not actually sleeping so you may want to check your battery performance monitor to find out.
On a more optimistic note, I couldnt be happier with my battery life (and with the phone in general). I can make it from 0600-2200 on light usage and still be above 75% life (that with maybe 5 mins of surfing or gaming per hour, apx 30-40 mins of talking during that time, apx 35 texts (tx/rx) and some music streaming (maybe 30m).
I keep my backlight on auto brightness, default screen time out, wifi/bt/4g all off. Accounts sync bumped up to maximum (i think its once an hour) and the rest pretty much stock. I really only keep up the default widgets too. You may want to check to see if you dont have a runaway app thats hogging up your juice man. You see a lot of that too...
I guess I got a good one.
I can only share my experiences and I know that doesnt help your situation but if you're just having problems iwth the one you may want ot try another phone of the same type...perhaps you just got a lemon?