ALL usb device use the same pin out for power and data. The first 5 pins will be in the same place regardless. The other pins are on the back side of the plug.
1. +5V DC
2. Data -
3. Data +
4. May be GND or used as an attached device presence indicator, IE a dock, or not connected at all.
5. Ground
Incredible extra pins:
6. Microphone+ ? (unconfirmed but stays low unlike pin 10)
7. AGD Appears to be a common ground for AV / Headset
8. Right +
9. Left +
10. Headset Switch? (pin is high, assuming waiting for pull down=switch depressed)
11. Headset Detect to AGND (Displays headset icon, Mutes phone speaker, sends audio out connector)
12. Video Out+ / Sense (Autosenses video connection when connected to RCA jack, brings up TV out dialog on phone)
The incredible has a 12 pin layout which a lot of electronics have. This is where that, "what is the port shaped like that, but I can use a micro-usb" questions come from. So basically yes for charging and syncing your phone with your computer you can use ANY micro-usb on the market as long as it's a 5 pin, some manufacturers also call it a 4 pin, because most devices don't have the #4 in the pin out above.
As far as you device not being able to use the cable you bought, it may be a bad cable, it happens once in a while where the connectors leads don't get seated all the way during production. I wouldn't worry about it too much, replace the cable and be happy.
If you are still in doubt go check out this site:
http://pinouts.ru/
They have all the pin out for various phone connectors etc. And notice they are all the same on the first 4-5 pins, it's called a standard for a reason guys. If you need even more clarification please go read straight from the usb guys here:
http://www.usb.org/developers/docs/ download this file that tells you how to design your connectors etc to meet standard specifications for the wiring here:
http://www.usb.org/developers/docs/usb_20_052510.zip The exact file you want to open is called ecn1-usb20-miniB-revd.pdf page 16(pdf reader)/page 98(if printed) section 6.5.2 'USB Connector Termination Data'. They get so exact on the spec for the usb ports you are only allowed to make the logo a certain size for christ sakes!
Hopefully this clears up this falsehood that "people heard from other people from other sites from HTC" or the whole "my phone burnt up because I didn't use the right charger/cable" etc.