Likely Translation of Panda's Poem: "A dual-core LTE phone running stock Android that never got leaked will be out in several weeks and anyone who got stuck on a 2-year Thunderbolt contract will regret it. So I recommend you wait just a bit until that one comes out before you make your decision."
Analysis:
When Beer flows in the color of envy and the rainbows are all but empty and you bask in the Thunder so bold…
But if it’s another device you seek to reach your Peak, then you may yet have several weeks.
Translation: But a better phone, this "Peak", should be out in several weeks.
If Peak hadn't been capitalized, we might not want to give it special meaning, but it was. "Hype" is capitalized below and though we know it refers to the Thunderbolt, there didn't seem to be a need to capitalize it (unless it's a weak reference to Hyperion, Greek titan of light. Light. Thunderbolt. Lightning. Nah.) Still though, Peak seems to suggest something specific.
For in the LiTE a new device shall shine, and perhaps that is fine if dual cores you don’t mind…
Translation:
Option 1: It will be the dual-core LTE Bionic we've been expecting to launch in April. Panda previously said
after Passover in late April.
Option 2: It will be some other dual-core LTE phone, possibly a standout (it "shall shine") amongst LTE phones.
I pick Option 2 here because it isn't really news for him to talk about the Bionic at this point and he wouldn't need to be cryptic about it. Plus Option 2 on the following verse would support Option 2 here.
For Stevie Austin moves like a blur, Unless it stock style you prefer…
Translation:
Option 1: It's the Bionic (Steve Austin was the character name of the Six Million Dollar Man a.k.a. the Bionic Man). It's fast, but the Blur UI may remain a dealbreaker for some.
Option 2: It's a different phone, this "Peak", which runs stock Android.
Option 3: Curveball! It's the Bionic, but Motorola has reacted to all the Blur hate on the web by giving us the option to turn it off and go Stock? Seems unlikely but there it is. That wouldn't be a new phone, but it would kind of change the picture, wouldn't it?
I pick Option 2 again because of the previous post on his blog. It says,
"perhaps i will wait Another 1000 twitter followers till I share the NEXT devices release date… hmmm what would you all like to see? Bionic? Stealth or perhaps something that hasn’t leaked? Stock android lte?? Hmmm. 'There is another'"
Clearly he's tossing out the Bionic, which we already know about, and the Stealth, which runs a single-core Hummingbird, only as diversionary teasers. The news is that an LTE phone running stock Android is on the way and it was never leaked, so we don't know about it. Put that together with his poem and we can say it is a
dual-core LTE phone with stock Android that never leaked that possibly goes by a name similar to "Peak". Anybody heard of a phone called or codenamed "summit" or "acme" or "apex" or "pinnacle" or "zenith" or "apogee" or "mountain" or "volcano" or "sierra"?
Full disclosure:
once before on his blog he said "there is another" all Yoda-like in reference to the Bionic. So he could be indicating the Bionic here by using that phrase again. But then why talk about an un-leaked stock Android LTE phone now at all? You wouldn't. So he's talking about this new thing, not the Bionic.
And if the
rumors that the Thunderbolt's "sister", the HTC Pyramid, is destined for T-Mobile's HSPA+ network are true, then we're not talking about that phone (with it's "Peak"-like name) since it's not LTE.
But its calmness we shall seek,
Translation: Not sure if this means the relative calm of an unleaked, unhyped, un-blog-frenzied device, or something like a calmer processor that can use two cores to handle things at lower power/heat, or just that this is the phone we should want...
And shy away from the Hype-beast
Translation: ...instead of the Thunderbolt, which has gotten all the hype.
So those signing two year choices, don’t blame panda forces, But the unknown sources that raise your hopes so high… Cause at the end of the tweet a Sneaky Panda speaks and he says… YOU MAY WANT TO WAIT TO BUY…
Translation: I, the Panda, have seen these phones and can tell you that the Thunderbolt does not deserve the hype it has gotten, not relative to other coming phones. You're going to regret it if you sign a two-year agreement on a Thunderbolt when this coming dual-core phone, either the dual-core Bionic that we expect or this unknown dual-core "Peak", will be out in just a few weeks.
In that same vein, consider his
tweet from Feb 28,
"The Greatest Trick Verizon Ever Pulled was telling the world the Thunderbolt existed...... have a good day all and I will holla later on." Telling people it existed fueled all this crazy drooling and speculation, which has made us all burst with anticipation to buy it the first second it is out. So maybe he's saying if they hadn't done that, we wouldn't want it so bad? Maybe he's saying they needed to do that to get us all to jump on right now because if they hadn't, and we had been more judicious and calm about things, we might have waited a bit and seen this new dual-core wonder come out and bought that and then they'd be stuck with crates full of these last-of-the-single-cores Thunderbolts?
Also on his blog he reviewed both phones and said they'd both be good, but that
power users would want the Bionic - - just another indication of his lower opinion of the Thunderbolt overall.
If "several weeks" means "about three weeks" then we would see this mystery phone launch three weeks after the Thunderbolt. Then if his original date of "after the Passover event" (April 18-26) holds true, the Bionic would launch three weeks after that. Maybe three weeks is the amount of time they need between launches to do all the background prep work. I could swear I saw something by him or Bennnn recently on a required amount of time between launches but I can't remember now.
So I guess I'll wait a few weeks, or at least until CTIA next week. I can still go with the Thunderbolt if it makes sense even after that other phone is out.