I'm curious about your consistent, all-day use of the S-Pen. How are you using it? I upgraded to a newer Note from a previous Note thinking I would get more use out of the S-Pen now that it has more functions...only to find that I still don't use it much!
Other Note owners have shared the same experience. I still like the Note because of the size (and occasional S-Pen use).
As far as iPhone 11 Pro Max versus Note 10, I hear you on wanting to switch it up. I almost got an iPhone but, in the end, stuck with the Note. I find that this Note is so much different than my older Note that I might as well have switched operating systems, though!
You could always switch back if you don't like the iPhone. While other users report being bored with iPhone, if you've never had one, you might not be.