I was too. finally gave up waiting.
I backed up, and did a factory reset from the settings menus. that reset it, I didn't do any of the config after reboot. just skipped past as many of the setup wizard screens as possible, except to setup a wireless connection. that did not yield for me an update prompt.
so, did the reboot, and used to the back button combination to try and force the factory reset from recovery mode. don't know if that really is any different than settings.
same as before, skipped past all setup windows I could, except wifi, went back into settings to check for updates, and sure enough, it finally showed up. not sure why it didn't say anything during the setup steps, as that's one of the things it appears to check for after the wifi config.
but, finally, it did update.
one more factory reset, just cause, after the the update was installed, and things are getting back up and running.
slow mo, aside from being relocated, doesn't appear any more slomo than the one that was already there on 10h. touch definitely seems better, and not yet sure on battery life. my odd wifi instability when bluetooth is on still seems present, but otherwise, the phone does seem a bit smoother as well now.
sucks that it took all this just to get what was an important update.