So yet another update, I called again because of the low on memory error, but still complained about the old issues I had after the update on the original phone and had them reference a forum post on Verizon's website that I found,
droid incredible not receiving messages - Page 3 - Verizon Wireless Community
About half way down the page there is a response from a Verizon employee that states "If it is determined that the back-end provisioning is fine, and the issue is attributed to the update (known problem that has been escalated to HTC), they will give you an "additional option." I can't specify what that option is here, but I think you'll be pretty happy with it. If you have a representative that is unfamiliar with the process (it's pretty well known internally, but it's possible to get a rep that hasn't come across this situation), advise them to "Search InfoManager for 47597." There's only 1 search result, and that's the article discussing how to handle this problem with the Incredible."
The rep I was talking to had to search this info and then called me back and thanked me for being so patient and offered me a INCREDIBLE 2!

Finally, it took a few calls and running a lot of crap but if you are persistent yo may get a new phone out of it, I will update again with more info tommorow when i get the phone! sorry for such a lengthy post but I hope this will help some of you out with service.