Well, I called exactly at 9AM this morning and was on hold for a grand total of 30 seconds before someone picked up. Surprising.
The rep told me that they are looking feverishly to get all of these orders out this week and that, specifically, I should be getting my bundle no later than Wednesday, and to expect an email saying that it shipped no later than later today or tomorrow morning.
I asked if there would be any compensation for this delay and he also offered me a $50 Samsung eCertificate via email. I should be expecting that email also sometime today.
Got a third escalation ticket number, so I'm hopeful but I'll let these ticket numbers pile up, and while it's nice to get a $50 certificate, I supposed it would've been too much to ask for a partial refund of $50. At least I'll be able to get that USB-C-to-HDMI converter or that S8+ keyboard case I really wanted to try.