Re: Going back to Windows phone.
You've never used windows phone have you? Android guys get in such a tizzy when someone doesn't like their platform its really sad. I'm coming from WP and everything the OP said is spot on but that doesn't mean that android is a bad platform its just not for him. Just like WP is not for you. Honestly I find windows phone to be a much better OS (excluding apps) but as a complete platform it lacks some apps that I need. All things equal android to me is the lesser of the 3 platforms. That may change in the next few weeks but some of the reasons I left the android platform in 2010 are still present in 2015 (bad battery life, inconsistent design, lag and crashing apps). Just my opinion...
I can solve your entire list almost.
Crashing apps: easily solved by paying more attention to Play Store ratings. It's ridiculously easy nowadays by shopping for the best products. You wouldn't buy a crappy rated item in a store, so why would you buy a badly rated app? Android doesn't crash apps, badly written apps crash apps. And even the folks on Windows Central all complain about the bad quality and quantity of the Windows Store apps so I don't know how this is even an argument.
Bad battery life: totally depends on which manufacturer you buy from. Xperia and Note phones have incredible battery life. Many others are average. Very few are "bad" and those are usually budget phones.
Inconsistent design: this is better now than it ever has been. And what diffences exist now are usually nice differences (meaning variety of choice). With WP and iOS you get one flavor only. Some people prefer that. Some don't.
Lag. Yep you're right. Of the 3 OSs, Android is the least smooth. Barely. But it also boasts more capabilities than the other two. It's a trade-off so I'll call this a tie.
Now here's one thing I can't solve for you: the lack of apps on WP. Some defenders of WP always use the same excuse, that the essential apps are there. No they aren't. My bank, good music apps, VPN app, favorite popular password vault, store apps etc are NOT there. Nor are a ton of other specialty apps too long to list here. Those are essential apps, not "Facebook".
Does this mean you're going to discount everything I've listed now as "going into a tizzy"? Because from where I stand, it sounds more like plain sense. WP can't even break out of the single digit market share so I'd say I'm being pretty obvious.
None of this means I dislike WP. On the contrary I happen to think it's pretty nicely done. The problem is that not only does it not offer anything compelling that I can't already get on an android or iPhone, it lacks a competitive app selection on top of that. That right there in a nutshell is exactly why WP isn't succeeding at getting anyone to switch. Terrible app selection without offering anything compelling enough to offset that.
The only real solution to that is for WP to somehow reinvent the entire way data is consumed on smartphones. Web Apps were once upon a time thought to be the next step in evolution but that approach failed miserably. Over the years I think I van safely say I've heard All of the arguments used to claim WP (and Blackberry for that matter) is a better way to go, but unfortunately the test of time has proven otherwise. Now we're at the point where even the hardcore true believers are all abandoning ship. Even Paul Thurott is shutting his site down and MaryJo Foley came right out and said on air that she won't recommend WP to others