Okay, so an update on connecting and charging--
I started with a cable that I have used since day 1 with my Pixel 2 XL; AA would connect quickly and the phone would charge at a substantial rate during my 30 minute commute.
Same cable with the 3 XL would connect perhaps one time of 20 attempts and, when it did connect would "charge slowly" both figuratively (that's what the screen indicated) and literally (I would gain just a few percentage points during my entire commute, even if not using the phone at all.
I tried one of these that I had in my bag of tricks
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...ag=hawk-future-20&ascsubtag=UUacUvbUpU6397562 and found that AA now connects quickly and reliably, but charging is no better than before.
Ordered the Google cable and found that it performed exactly as the one above. Connects well, but charging sucks.
Last night as I began my commute, I recalled that I had one of these
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...ag=hawk-future-20&ascsubtag=UUacUvbUpU6397562 in my center console - I took the original cable (the one that connects poorly with AA) and plugged it into the charger and into my 3XL. The phone said it was "Charging rapidly" and indeed it did, going from 60% to 86% over the span of my 30 minute commute.
In my opinion, there is something not right with the way the 3 XL charges when connected to AA. I'm hoping that a future software update will fix it.
Car is a 2017 VW Passat, by the way.