I am sorry but none of those options will work.
The ability to separate the notification volume and the ringer volume was a system level option. The various audio managers made use of that option to link or unlink them.
In ICS, they are no longer separate, and so the audio managers can not use them seprately. I have now tried 10 different audio managers on ICS and none of them can do it. Even if you do find on that displays them as separate and lets you change them sepratly, the minute you get a call or notification, you will see that it did not actually change one. If one is low, the other is low, and vice versa.
I use audio manager pro and it no longer works in this way. I am screwed because I HAVE TO have my phone beable to ring at night, but now every email, instant message, text go off too.
I wish I knew what the hell they were thinking at Google on this one.