LineKill
Well-known member
- Dec 24, 2011
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I guess I have not told you about Samsungs newest program. It is called Infinity Upgraders Relief Program.I need someone to keep me in check because I PLAN on getting both and right now I'm not doing a good job trying to stop myself.
It takes about 3 upgrades, but then you will be cured after that. It requires a support person, and I will do this just for you.
When Samsung comes out with a new phone and you preorder it, an alert will be sent out, which I will receive, informing me a situation has risen where you have preordered another phone. I immediately come to your current location, well it will take a few hours, but I will get there. I then commence on slapping you around a bit and inform you that I get to keep your phone when it arrives.
You do not have to pay for the service itself, because Samsung still gets the money for the phone and I get the phone to pay for my troubles.
You also get a direct line to me via the Bixby button. Oh, I almost forgot, it also comes with a free pair of those Infinity Jeans I was talking about

The service starts on the next cycle, so the S8 you just ordered, you get to keep, that is how you will conviently contact me via Bixby, which I will then proceed to half-heartedly try to talk you down.
After about 3 cycles you will come to the realization that you are not gaining anything at all, yes it does take that long. But you will see that you have that old stale S8 with a Bixby button that was never able to do anything, accept reach me, because Samsung never updated it, because everyone decided to only use it to have quick access to porn.
You will then be cured, you won't need me anymore and then you can continue on with your life ordering like normal people, uh, a few other types of people.
I probably left out a few things, but I cannot remember all the details at the moment.
That must have been the dumbest thing I have ever written
